I had a really interesting conversation with a dear friend last night about motivation. We are both bigger girls and deal with the constant struggle to find pants that fit, bras in our size sold in stores (rather than just online), and an exercise schedule that works for us and makes us feel comfortable instead of ousted.
She told me that she was jealous of my motivation and my eagerness to stay healthy and lose weight. I just had to smile and shake my head. It's impossible to be totally motivated all of the time. If you try to stay 100% motivated 100% of the time you simply turn to yo-yo dieting where people drop 50lbs in 2 months and then gain it all back (plus more) when their motivation finally empties out. Instead of wasting all of my motivation right at the beginning, I have learned to ration it out when I really need it and then mix it with some bribery/corrosion (Just do it Brittany and then you can come home and take a nap; just do it Brittany and then you can come home and play some a game on the computer for a few minutes.) and I find that I can maintain my current lifestyle and fitness trend a lot longer than I ever had before. Being healthy is not about eating nothing but celery for 4 months and working out like an olympic athlete. Being healthy is about finding the balance in what you eat and how to stay active.
If I have learned anything in these past 4 months, its that when it comes to motivation, you've got to fake it until you make it. In the past 116 days, I have lost a grand total of 25 lbs (an average of only .25lbs a day) which is not spectacular, especially when you compare it to the 101 lbs in 17 weeks that Irene recently lost on Biggest Loser. It has been a slow and sometimes painful process in which I am forced to look at my eating choices, my exercise habits, and what is emotionally and mentally going on with me. There have been days where I definitely wanted to give up but I just keep faking motivation until I'm hit with another wave.
Becoming a Zumba instructor has also been a big factor in this life change. I don't have the option of not working out 4 days a week. On top of not being able to skip classes, I've really had to change my eating. I learned pretty quickly that if I ate fries and a coke before I taught class, it ended up being a very uncomfortable and BLOATED class, but if I ate some fruit leather and a hand full of almonds, I was smiling and sweating and having a good time. Now, I've been trying (and succeeding most days) to give myself healthier eating options and believe it or not, my body has started craving healthy options! And every time I have eaten fast food since January, my body has made me regret it. We're not meant to eat that stuff (except for Coke. I still can't give up Coke!) and your body with thank you many times over for not subjecting it to it.
Here is a list of some of the major lessons that I have learned and have really helped (and continue to help) me:
Easy things you can change to make healthy choices:
1. Quit making excuses about working out. Get off your butt and go for a walk. Take a class. I have found that classes work a lot better for me because it takes the questioning out of my workout. I show up, do the class, and then go home. I don't have to walk into some big huge gym and just stare at the equipment while feeling intimidated about it all. Zumba is the only workout that I have ever found that leaves me with a smile on my face when I'm done. Find what you love and do it. (P.S. Did you know that walking laps in a pool burns almost twice the calories of walking on land?!)
2. Find an accountability partner. Its a lot easier to struggle when you have the tough (but gentle) love of a friend who is walking the same road with you. Set a goal, a time line, and a reward for yourself (and don't use food for a reward. It never works out!) for reaching that goal. Celebrate the good things together and discuss what needs to be changed or where you messed up if you have an off week. Whether it's just you and a friend, or a group of friends, support is good. I do find that's its best for everyone to have the same general fitness goals, though. (Meaning if you are looking to lose some weight don't pair up with someone who is looking to run a marathon or vice versa. It makes it really difficult to challenge and support each other if you are on such different levels.)
3. Healthy eating sometimes takes awhile. Find some simple recipes and try to make some easier things if cooking isn't your thing. I am not a big fan of some of the "diet" cookbooks out there because they have an ingredient list two pages long and and filled with lots of items that you can't get here in the armpit of Nebraska. You have to force your mind to make better choices for awhile before your body starts to do it for you. Stick it out. I promise it will get better.
4. Little changes are way more important than big ones. How many of us have started that carb-free or fat-free or calorie-free diet that limits us to 17 calories a day and only chicken or intense exercise for 15 days straight and then 4 days where you are supposed to load up on carbs only to make it for a week before getting so frustrated that we give up? Don't try to change all the big problems at once. Start out by cutting your soda intake. Take a 15 minute walk. Substitute apple sauce for oil when baking and use fat free sour cream on your taco. Buy a pair of ankle weights and wear them under your work pants (maybe don't do this if you wear heels to work, trust me...) While watching TV simply stretch or get up and walk in place during the commercials. Little things make a much bigger impact because you are able to sustain them over a long period of time instead of crashing into huge changes and then giving up after a week.
5. Have a pair of goal pants as well as a goal weight. I have no qualms telling people that I currently weigh 189 lbs because I don't feel like I look like it. I have solid legs and as the old saying goes "muscle weighs more than fat." I have a goal weight, but I also have a pair of pants that I bought a few years ago hoping that I would be able to fit into them someday (obviously that someday has not arrived yet!). I'm pretty close to being able to button them, but I still have a decent amount to go until I reach my ideal weight. Having two different goals (one weight related and one size related) has provided me with some perspective in regard to my body. Would I prefer to be smaller and a bit on the softer side or would I prefer to be a bit heavier and feel toned and strong? How much does the number on the scale or on the tag of my pants mean to me vs. how I feel about myself? Also, there are some weeks where you feel like the scale is stuck. During those times, try on the said goal pants to see if your body measurements are just playing catch up to your weight loss, or if you have truly hit a plateau.
What I have to say about my fitness and health journey is nothing new. This same stuff has been said to me time and time again, it just took a few times for it to click with me. I'm not a health nut or a certified personal trainer or even anyone of any importance. I'm just trying to be me, and for once in my life, I feel like I'm getting close. :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
A letter to my unmarried self:
Dear Brittany,
You're getting married in just a few short days. Here are some things to remember:
-Find the straps to your dress. The seamstress did not alter it correctly and you will feel more comfortable with them on.
-Relax during pictures, or you'll end up looking scared (with your nostrils flared) in some of them.
- Eat an extra meatball and an extra cupcake. It's your wedding. Just do it.
Ok, but seriously,
Remember that you are about to stand up in front of all of your dearest friends and family and profess the love that you have for your best friend. He is the man that you have been waiting for your entire life. Don't mess this up. I can't promise you that this first year won't be difficult. In fact, you'll end up buying a new car, both of you will end up in completely different jobs, he'll make you learn how to drive a stick shift on Jeffers, you'll learn that he leaves his dirty socks inside out on the kitchen floor and he'll think thats its disgusting that you clean your ears with q-tips after you get out of the shower. It will take him awhile to learn that sometimes you just need a hug and you'll need to figure out that when he doesn't feel well, he doesn't want to be babied, he just wants to be left alone to sleep. Neither one of you will want to do the dishes and finances can take a while to figure out.
But also remember that every morning you get to wake up next to your best friend. In spite of all of the grossness of this world and your current position in life, you get to walk hand and hand with the one that makes you smile like a big cheesball. He will always be there to protect you when someone attacks you, slap you across the face (figuratively) when you are being ridiculous, and bring you the book, shoes, bra, CD, brush, tape, etc. that you happened to forget and can't get through the performance or meeting or day without it.
In turn, don't forget that coming home to a warm meal is a wonderful feeling, and doing the dishes yourself is a lot less painful than picking a fight over it. "Thank you" can never be heard enough and we don't get lost, we take the scenic route. Stand beside him when he's feeling beaten and love him, even if you don't seem to like each other at that given moment. Help his as best you know how and don't forget that the cat sometimes likes him better.
Marriage is not easy. No one ever told you that it would be. But, marriage is an amazing and interesting trip, to say the least. As Larry told you, don't ever stop looking for and enjoying the mystery that is this life. Live your life with a passion and intensity to serve your loving and amazing God and worship Him with your husband by your side.
Take each moment and cherish it. Don't waste a single minute, a single breath, a single heartbeat. Love him. Let him love you. And together, change the little piece of world that you belong to in the name of He who created you.
You're getting married in just a few short days. Here are some things to remember:
-Find the straps to your dress. The seamstress did not alter it correctly and you will feel more comfortable with them on.
-Relax during pictures, or you'll end up looking scared (with your nostrils flared) in some of them.
- Eat an extra meatball and an extra cupcake. It's your wedding. Just do it.
Ok, but seriously,
Remember that you are about to stand up in front of all of your dearest friends and family and profess the love that you have for your best friend. He is the man that you have been waiting for your entire life. Don't mess this up. I can't promise you that this first year won't be difficult. In fact, you'll end up buying a new car, both of you will end up in completely different jobs, he'll make you learn how to drive a stick shift on Jeffers, you'll learn that he leaves his dirty socks inside out on the kitchen floor and he'll think thats its disgusting that you clean your ears with q-tips after you get out of the shower. It will take him awhile to learn that sometimes you just need a hug and you'll need to figure out that when he doesn't feel well, he doesn't want to be babied, he just wants to be left alone to sleep. Neither one of you will want to do the dishes and finances can take a while to figure out.
But also remember that every morning you get to wake up next to your best friend. In spite of all of the grossness of this world and your current position in life, you get to walk hand and hand with the one that makes you smile like a big cheesball. He will always be there to protect you when someone attacks you, slap you across the face (figuratively) when you are being ridiculous, and bring you the book, shoes, bra, CD, brush, tape, etc. that you happened to forget and can't get through the performance or meeting or day without it.
In turn, don't forget that coming home to a warm meal is a wonderful feeling, and doing the dishes yourself is a lot less painful than picking a fight over it. "Thank you" can never be heard enough and we don't get lost, we take the scenic route. Stand beside him when he's feeling beaten and love him, even if you don't seem to like each other at that given moment. Help his as best you know how and don't forget that the cat sometimes likes him better.
Marriage is not easy. No one ever told you that it would be. But, marriage is an amazing and interesting trip, to say the least. As Larry told you, don't ever stop looking for and enjoying the mystery that is this life. Live your life with a passion and intensity to serve your loving and amazing God and worship Him with your husband by your side.
Take each moment and cherish it. Don't waste a single minute, a single breath, a single heartbeat. Love him. Let him love you. And together, change the little piece of world that you belong to in the name of He who created you.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Tikva: The Garden Song
The lyrics to the song that Tikva will be playing at the service tonight:
The Garden Song
Little bird sits on the branch that it calls home
Watching that man walk by
With his head hung low and sorrow on his breath.
The bird questions "Why?
What was this man here for?"
And then he heard Him cry
"Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
The tree stands by as he kneels down.
Crushed under the weight on his shoulders.
Praying for those who have yet to see.
Sweat drops form as the blood begins to fall.
He knows that this act will make the old ways now new.
Then He laid and cried
""Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
The spirit is willing but the body is weak.
Who will stay awake with Him.
He's given so much and taken so little.
And soon He'll give all that he has.
And can't you hear Him cry
"Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
Not my will.
Not my will.
But Yours.
The Garden Song
Little bird sits on the branch that it calls home
Watching that man walk by
With his head hung low and sorrow on his breath.
The bird questions "Why?
What was this man here for?"
And then he heard Him cry
"Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
The tree stands by as he kneels down.
Crushed under the weight on his shoulders.
Praying for those who have yet to see.
Sweat drops form as the blood begins to fall.
He knows that this act will make the old ways now new.
Then He laid and cried
""Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
The spirit is willing but the body is weak.
Who will stay awake with Him.
He's given so much and taken so little.
And soon He'll give all that he has.
And can't you hear Him cry
"Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
Not my will.
Not my will.
But Yours.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The agony and beauty of growing pains.
These last ten months have been a period of incredible pain and growth. Last July, when I headed to Camp Moses Merrill to spend a week as a counselor, I was fat, spiritually broken, and emotionally lost.
I spoke at the final campfire about not giving up your faith even when it gets discouraging because I was at the end of my rope. Stress from my job, a new marriage, a dangerously low body image and serious doubts about the faith that I had believed in for all of my life had beaten me down to next to nothing. I can remember sitting with Greg in the swimming pool, watching campers splash each other and enjoy the sunshine, feeling completely lost. As we talked he told me that maybe this period of darkness and pain was stretching me and preparing me for something. Internally, I laughed at him. How could God be preparing me for anything bigger? I was stuck in a painful job, living in the hometown that I swore I would never go back to, and suffocating in a body that was on its way to a life of fast food, diabetes, and a fullfillment of my family's history of heart disease.
As I was driving to a baby shower this past weekend, listening to some different song ideas that Greg had recorded, I pulled over and just reflected on where I've been and how far I have come since that awful conversation on the pool steps. I've quit my job, become a fitness instructor (going from a XL to a M shirt size in the proceess), read and learned more about the Christian faith, and finally found peace in knowing that growing pains don't last for an eternity. It all culminated in my facebook status the other day, "Sometimes I have to remind myself that maybe God isn't closing doors in my face to be mean. I think He's got some totally wonderful and amazing door for me, but he's making sure I'm ready when it opens."
Growing pains are frustrating. For the past several months I've been writhing around in my own agony, feeling abandoned and alone. This past weekend I finally relaxed and found comfort in the hope that I am near the end of this growing streak.
One of the songs that Greg and I wrote talks about how I'm just an average girl with dreams of something more. It talks about how I need to know His plans so we can get this show on the road. And while that is very much how I feel, I'm going to spend the time that I have been given stretching and forcing myself to grow even more so that when that door finally opens, when that plan is finally revealed, I'll be ready.
I spoke at the final campfire about not giving up your faith even when it gets discouraging because I was at the end of my rope. Stress from my job, a new marriage, a dangerously low body image and serious doubts about the faith that I had believed in for all of my life had beaten me down to next to nothing. I can remember sitting with Greg in the swimming pool, watching campers splash each other and enjoy the sunshine, feeling completely lost. As we talked he told me that maybe this period of darkness and pain was stretching me and preparing me for something. Internally, I laughed at him. How could God be preparing me for anything bigger? I was stuck in a painful job, living in the hometown that I swore I would never go back to, and suffocating in a body that was on its way to a life of fast food, diabetes, and a fullfillment of my family's history of heart disease.
As I was driving to a baby shower this past weekend, listening to some different song ideas that Greg had recorded, I pulled over and just reflected on where I've been and how far I have come since that awful conversation on the pool steps. I've quit my job, become a fitness instructor (going from a XL to a M shirt size in the proceess), read and learned more about the Christian faith, and finally found peace in knowing that growing pains don't last for an eternity. It all culminated in my facebook status the other day, "Sometimes I have to remind myself that maybe God isn't closing doors in my face to be mean. I think He's got some totally wonderful and amazing door for me, but he's making sure I'm ready when it opens."
Growing pains are frustrating. For the past several months I've been writhing around in my own agony, feeling abandoned and alone. This past weekend I finally relaxed and found comfort in the hope that I am near the end of this growing streak.
One of the songs that Greg and I wrote talks about how I'm just an average girl with dreams of something more. It talks about how I need to know His plans so we can get this show on the road. And while that is very much how I feel, I'm going to spend the time that I have been given stretching and forcing myself to grow even more so that when that door finally opens, when that plan is finally revealed, I'll be ready.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Half way done but just beginning
We have reached the halfway point of this Lenten season and this morning I went back and reread my entry from Ash Wednesday. Some reflections on the past two and a half weeks:
Giving up excuses has been more difficult than I thought. (In fact, I almost started out this blog with an excuse about how I'm not nearly as talented as some of my writer friends!) Some of the things I used to say including "Oh, I didn't get that email/text message/phone call because my phone is being weird" or "Sorry I'm late, I got half way out the door and forgot (insert item here)" were blatant, outright lies and they were the easy ones to cut out. I was really late for youth group last night and when asked about my tardiness, I told the truth. It had been a mess of a day, and I just hadn't watched the clock close enough. It was my fault, not my car's or my phone's or my parent's dogs.
So, the difficulty has not come out of the actual speaking of an excuse as so much the internal conflict and debate that I face when trying to decide if something is an excuse or not. I have lied to myself and to others for so long that its takes me a long time to distinguish between the truth and an excuse.
-Did I really not lose any weight this week because I'm bloated due to my cycle or was it because I didn't eat as healthy as I should?
-Did I run late to work this morning because I was sooooo tired from last night and I just couldn't get out of bed or was it because I watched the Today Show for 5 minutes longer than I should this morning?
I make so many excuses and tell so many little white lies, I don't even know when I am doing it. Making excuses has become a reflex that I am now having to rethink. We try and get to the root of it, I think my amazing ability to make excuses comes from my fear of having to take responsibility. I just came out a fairly frustrating job where I never fully understood what my responsibilities were so I was constantly confused and frustrated and forced into making excuses on the spot because I didn't know what I was doing. I have some selective perfectionist tendencies and when things are not just right, I make an excuse instead of giving a honest update about how things are progressing.
Not making excuses to other people has been a difficult lesson and I find myself pausing (A LOT) before I respond to questions now. But even harder than my interactions with other humans, is my interactions with myself.
I have gotten REALLY good at lying to myself. I am a very self defeating person and I tend to make excuses for things even before I attempt them.
- There is no point in me making dinner tonight because I'm sure Sam won't like it.
- Why should I even bother with going to the gym? I'm always going to be a fat ass anyway.
- What' the point in even looking for a job when I know that 40 million other people will be applying for it as well?
It's been a struggle to end this constant lying. Most of my excuses come down to an "I'm not good enough" attitude. I applied to grad school this past winter and came out of my audition feeling like a million bucks and thinking that I really had a chance. When 6 weeks went by and I still hadn't heard anything, I was crushed. Now, on my Lenten journey, I don't really know what the answer is to why I didn't get in. It sounds so cliche to say "It wasn't God's will/plan/choice for me" or "This must not be God's timing so I'm at peace" so I started looking for the straight answer and the only one I could come up with was I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Ouch. The dream and career that I have chased since I was a little girl has now ended simply because I'm not good enough? I came out of that theatre having left everything on the table. I gave the best audition that my education, my brains, and my talent could have provided me and in the end, why didn't I get in? What is the truth and what is merely a lie that I tell myself because I want to feel better or because I don't feel worthy?
This post has definitely turned towards the verbal vomit side of blogging, but I guess the main point is:
Through this Lenten season I have discovered (and I am still discovering) that I have a serious problem with making excuses not only to other people, but also to myself. This is no longer just a 40 day journey to the cross where I give up something that makes me a little uncomfortable for a while before reverting back to the way life was. We may be at the half way mark for Lent, but frankly, I am just beginning.
Giving up excuses has been more difficult than I thought. (In fact, I almost started out this blog with an excuse about how I'm not nearly as talented as some of my writer friends!) Some of the things I used to say including "Oh, I didn't get that email/text message/phone call because my phone is being weird" or "Sorry I'm late, I got half way out the door and forgot (insert item here)" were blatant, outright lies and they were the easy ones to cut out. I was really late for youth group last night and when asked about my tardiness, I told the truth. It had been a mess of a day, and I just hadn't watched the clock close enough. It was my fault, not my car's or my phone's or my parent's dogs.
So, the difficulty has not come out of the actual speaking of an excuse as so much the internal conflict and debate that I face when trying to decide if something is an excuse or not. I have lied to myself and to others for so long that its takes me a long time to distinguish between the truth and an excuse.
-Did I really not lose any weight this week because I'm bloated due to my cycle or was it because I didn't eat as healthy as I should?
-Did I run late to work this morning because I was sooooo tired from last night and I just couldn't get out of bed or was it because I watched the Today Show for 5 minutes longer than I should this morning?
I make so many excuses and tell so many little white lies, I don't even know when I am doing it. Making excuses has become a reflex that I am now having to rethink. We try and get to the root of it, I think my amazing ability to make excuses comes from my fear of having to take responsibility. I just came out a fairly frustrating job where I never fully understood what my responsibilities were so I was constantly confused and frustrated and forced into making excuses on the spot because I didn't know what I was doing. I have some selective perfectionist tendencies and when things are not just right, I make an excuse instead of giving a honest update about how things are progressing.
Not making excuses to other people has been a difficult lesson and I find myself pausing (A LOT) before I respond to questions now. But even harder than my interactions with other humans, is my interactions with myself.
I have gotten REALLY good at lying to myself. I am a very self defeating person and I tend to make excuses for things even before I attempt them.
- There is no point in me making dinner tonight because I'm sure Sam won't like it.
- Why should I even bother with going to the gym? I'm always going to be a fat ass anyway.
- What' the point in even looking for a job when I know that 40 million other people will be applying for it as well?
It's been a struggle to end this constant lying. Most of my excuses come down to an "I'm not good enough" attitude. I applied to grad school this past winter and came out of my audition feeling like a million bucks and thinking that I really had a chance. When 6 weeks went by and I still hadn't heard anything, I was crushed. Now, on my Lenten journey, I don't really know what the answer is to why I didn't get in. It sounds so cliche to say "It wasn't God's will/plan/choice for me" or "This must not be God's timing so I'm at peace" so I started looking for the straight answer and the only one I could come up with was I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Ouch. The dream and career that I have chased since I was a little girl has now ended simply because I'm not good enough? I came out of that theatre having left everything on the table. I gave the best audition that my education, my brains, and my talent could have provided me and in the end, why didn't I get in? What is the truth and what is merely a lie that I tell myself because I want to feel better or because I don't feel worthy?
This post has definitely turned towards the verbal vomit side of blogging, but I guess the main point is:
Through this Lenten season I have discovered (and I am still discovering) that I have a serious problem with making excuses not only to other people, but also to myself. This is no longer just a 40 day journey to the cross where I give up something that makes me a little uncomfortable for a while before reverting back to the way life was. We may be at the half way mark for Lent, but frankly, I am just beginning.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
My book list is growing!
Well, it's half way through June and I don't know if I'm right on track for my reading schedule. What an amazing experience this has been. I'm actually excited to keep going!
1. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott- Jan. 1 - Jan. 7 - I can now say that I have read the silly thing from start to finish. I loved parts of it but other parts droned on.
2. The Centurion's Wife by Janette Oke - Jan. 7 - Jan. 12 - A really neat book, especially if you like Christian fiction or anything else that Oke has written. I downloaded it onto my Kindle because it was on a free-promo thing, and fell in love with it. Definitely an amazing message about the light that God brings into our lives.
3. Whirl of the Wheel by Catherine Condie - Jan. 12 - Jan. 15 - An odd little book about time travel. Super fluffy and I think geared toward younger readers. I don't like super detail heavy books, but this one was so lacking in it that it was hard to connect to any of the characters. I liked the basic story line, but would have liked a some information about what was going on historically and why she was in a wheelchair.
4. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett - Jan. 15 - Jan. 24 - I had seen 3 different movie versions of this book and enjoyed it quite a bit. Burnett's descriptions of the garden and the changes that take place in it are so vibrant and alive that I couldn't help but want to go and visit. Definitely a great classic.
5. Labor of Love: A Midwife's Memoir by Cara Muhlhahn - Jan. 27 - Jan. 29 - Just a precursor: No, I'm not pregnant. It was free on Amazon and it just seemed like it would be an interesting read, and boy was it! Muhlhahn manages to leave me with a sense of empowerment as a women and provided with me with confidence that I'm sure will come in handy when Sam and I do make the decision to start our family. I'm not typically a "hippie, holistic, mother nature" kind of person, but this book did an amazing job of presenting other options of labor and delivery besides being bed ridden, on your back, full of needles in a sterile (and often frightening) hospital room with everyone and their dog looking at your whoo-hah. She was not overly feministic, and spent a good deal of time discussing how hospitals are really good things in high risk pregnancies and when things go wrong, but normally, when left to her own devices, a woman can deliver her baby minus drugs and people sticking their hands all up inside them. I don't know if homebirth is something I would try, especially living in the midwest where midwives aren't in every neighborhood, but it is a great read for any woman who has thought about questioning why things are the way they are. I would definitely recommend it to any woman!
6. Love on a Dime by Cara Lynn James - Jan. 29 - Feb. 1 - Meh. It was half period romance novel, half Christian fiction. I enjoyed the setting and the detail that James put into describing our characters and how the vantage point shifted from chapter to chapter (it really allowed the reader to connect with multiple characters). A good quick read.
7. Reasons to be Pretty by Neil LaBute - Feb. 2 - Feb. 3 - Oh Mr. LaBute, this may be my favorite play that he has written. It ends with a little glimmer of hope and it made me happy.
8. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - Feb. 7 - Feb. 9 - This would have had an end date of Feb. 8, but I technically read past midnight last night so I actually finished it today. I find it really funny how I try really hard to not watch the "bestseller" lists because I feel like its "letting the man win" or something, but when I do give in and read whats popular at the moment, it almost always a good read, even if it has some gapping holes and some strange (not to mention fairly gross) plotlines(Twilight) or even if it's not the most memorable book I've ever read. I sat in our cold little bathroom well into the wee hours of the morning trying to finish The Hunger Games. This Lord of the Flys meets The Hatchet epic kept me on the edge of my seat. I don't want to give much away, because I would recommend this book to anyone, but I would also like to emphasize that I would not let an elementary school student read it. Not only are there some very graphic, morbid parts, but the overall tone of the book is very disturbing and I think might really frighten a younger audience. Definitely worth picking up!
9. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins Feb. 9 - Feb. 10 - The 2nd book in The Hunger Games trilogy, and just as rivoting as the first. I don't believe I can get my hands on book #3 fast enough!
10. Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins - Feb. 12 - Feb. 13 - The third installment of The Hunger Games trilogy. Really guys, read these books!
11. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - Feb. 27 - March 2 - I didn't really know what I was getting into when I started this story, but as usual, it was on the "free promotional" list on Amazon.com so I got it. This beautiful story about a 93 year old man in a nursing home is poignant and insightful. During his flashbacks to his life in circus, Gruen exposes us to the nitty-gritty behind the scenes work that us "rubes" never get to see. This strange lifestyle is something that we've all been curious about and we've all threatened to run of and do from time to time. While in the present, Gruen carefully takes us through the struggles of the indignity that is the aging and nursing home process in America. I would rate it PG-13 for some graphic violence and some sexual content, but all in all a lovely book.
12. After the Leaves Fall by Nicole Baart - March 3 - March 7 - There have been some really difficult things happening in my life at the moment, and this book was exactly what I needed. It may be one of the few free books that I have read on Amazon that I actually want to spend the money to get the rest of the books in the series, Summer Snow and Beneath the Night Tree. (In fact, I just took a break from writing this entry to do so.) This coming of age story about Julia, a character with whom every small town girl can relate to, follows a heartbreaking and frustrating path from a fallen, broken little girl to a fallen, broken woman in search of the grace that only come from the Father above. I didn't even know that this was a Christian fiction book until I got a fair amount into it, and I thought the spiritual aspect of the book was beautifully presented without being overly pushy. In Baart's first novel, I commend her for her beautiful analogies and comforting text. Many of the scenes left me heartbroken and in tears but the book ends with an amazing sense of hope. I can't wait to read the next book!
13. Summer Snow by Nicole Baart - March 7 - March 13 - The 2nd book of this trilogy was just as warm and touching as the first. As we continue to get to know Julia, and her crazy family, Baart does an exceptional job of capturing small town life and the difficulties with gossip, work, and an ever evolving family.
14. Beneath the Night Tree by Nicole Baart - March 13 - March 18 - The perfect end to this trilogy. Painful in places because I knew what was coming and my heart broke for Julia's situation, but it ended just like I had hoped. Well done, Ms. Baart. Thank you for sharing this family with us!
15. Wings by Aprilynne Pike - April 13 - April 15 - Another freebie on the Amazon list, and of course, I had to go get the sequel this morning from the Library. If you enjoyed the mythical nature and teenage angst of Twilight, this book is for you. A bit far fetched at times, but a quick an entertaining summer read if nothing else.
16. Spells by Aprilynne Pike - April 17 - April 18 - The sequel to Wings. I found this book just as entertaining as the first one and now I am completely sucked into the central love story. The third book is set to release the first week of May, so until then this Faerie story will be on pause. Can't wait!
17. Walking on Broken Glass by Christa Allan - April 20 - May 6 - READ THIS BOOK! That is all. A beautiful story about redemption and learning to be who you were created to be.
18. Illusions by Aprilynne Pike - May 10-13 - Darn you Aprilynne! I thought this would be the final book in the series and now I must wait a whole year before the real final book comes out. Great book in the series and I will hang on this cliff for awhile!
19. Alice at Heart by Deborah Smith - May 22-23 - I don't know how I got another fantasy book in here but I enjoyed it. This tale about mermaids and "landers" gives a great example of how far we go to fit into "normal".
20. Elisha's Bones by Don Hoesel - Sometime around Memorial Day - If you liked Angels and Demons or The DaVinci Code, I'm pretty sure you would enjoy this book. A book about intrigue, puzzles, conspiracy, and of course, a long lost biblical artifact. Elisha's Bones gets a little gory in some parts and a little long in others, but a decent enjoyable read.
21. A Tailor-Made Bride by Karen Witemeyer - First part of June - Ok, cute book and lovely story line and all, but it was super frustrating! Let me precursor with this: I love historical romance, Christian romance, and even a little smut now and again. This book tried to combine all three and honestly it made me feel like I was some sort of pervert. The author would talk about how the leading lady was noticing how the leading man's shirt stretched across his sinewy shoulders and firm chest and how is pants shaped his rear end and then the leading lady would chastise herself for looking at him in such a way, which in turn left me, as the reader, feeling like I was being a perv for thinking of him that way when she was the one putting the stupid thoughts in my head!
22. The Strange Case of Finley Jayne by Kady Cross - June 8-10 - This book is the prequel to The Girl in the Steel Corset and I am finding the whole Steampunk genre very oddly interesting. If you're out of the loop and unaware of what Steampunk is, the oh-so reliable Wikipedia defined Steampunk as "a sub-genre of science fiction, alternate history, and speculative fiction...an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century and often Victorian era Britain—that incorporates prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy. Works of steampunk often feature anachronistic technology or futuristic innovations as Victorians may have envisioned them; in other words, based on a Victorian perspective on fashion, culture, architectural style, art, etc. This technology may include such fictional machines as those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne or real technologies like the computer but developed earlier in an alternate history." I totally loved the dark undertones of the book and how they mixed with the Victorian setting. I am definitely looking forward to reading more of this style!"
Be sure to keep sharing ideas with me! Only 33 books left!
1. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott- Jan. 1 - Jan. 7 - I can now say that I have read the silly thing from start to finish. I loved parts of it but other parts droned on.
2. The Centurion's Wife by Janette Oke - Jan. 7 - Jan. 12 - A really neat book, especially if you like Christian fiction or anything else that Oke has written. I downloaded it onto my Kindle because it was on a free-promo thing, and fell in love with it. Definitely an amazing message about the light that God brings into our lives.
3. Whirl of the Wheel by Catherine Condie - Jan. 12 - Jan. 15 - An odd little book about time travel. Super fluffy and I think geared toward younger readers. I don't like super detail heavy books, but this one was so lacking in it that it was hard to connect to any of the characters. I liked the basic story line, but would have liked a some information about what was going on historically and why she was in a wheelchair.
4. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett - Jan. 15 - Jan. 24 - I had seen 3 different movie versions of this book and enjoyed it quite a bit. Burnett's descriptions of the garden and the changes that take place in it are so vibrant and alive that I couldn't help but want to go and visit. Definitely a great classic.
5. Labor of Love: A Midwife's Memoir by Cara Muhlhahn - Jan. 27 - Jan. 29 - Just a precursor: No, I'm not pregnant. It was free on Amazon and it just seemed like it would be an interesting read, and boy was it! Muhlhahn manages to leave me with a sense of empowerment as a women and provided with me with confidence that I'm sure will come in handy when Sam and I do make the decision to start our family. I'm not typically a "hippie, holistic, mother nature" kind of person, but this book did an amazing job of presenting other options of labor and delivery besides being bed ridden, on your back, full of needles in a sterile (and often frightening) hospital room with everyone and their dog looking at your whoo-hah. She was not overly feministic, and spent a good deal of time discussing how hospitals are really good things in high risk pregnancies and when things go wrong, but normally, when left to her own devices, a woman can deliver her baby minus drugs and people sticking their hands all up inside them. I don't know if homebirth is something I would try, especially living in the midwest where midwives aren't in every neighborhood, but it is a great read for any woman who has thought about questioning why things are the way they are. I would definitely recommend it to any woman!
6. Love on a Dime by Cara Lynn James - Jan. 29 - Feb. 1 - Meh. It was half period romance novel, half Christian fiction. I enjoyed the setting and the detail that James put into describing our characters and how the vantage point shifted from chapter to chapter (it really allowed the reader to connect with multiple characters). A good quick read.
7. Reasons to be Pretty by Neil LaBute - Feb. 2 - Feb. 3 - Oh Mr. LaBute, this may be my favorite play that he has written. It ends with a little glimmer of hope and it made me happy.
8. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - Feb. 7 - Feb. 9 - This would have had an end date of Feb. 8, but I technically read past midnight last night so I actually finished it today. I find it really funny how I try really hard to not watch the "bestseller" lists because I feel like its "letting the man win" or something, but when I do give in and read whats popular at the moment, it almost always a good read, even if it has some gapping holes and some strange (not to mention fairly gross) plotlines(Twilight) or even if it's not the most memorable book I've ever read. I sat in our cold little bathroom well into the wee hours of the morning trying to finish The Hunger Games. This Lord of the Flys meets The Hatchet epic kept me on the edge of my seat. I don't want to give much away, because I would recommend this book to anyone, but I would also like to emphasize that I would not let an elementary school student read it. Not only are there some very graphic, morbid parts, but the overall tone of the book is very disturbing and I think might really frighten a younger audience. Definitely worth picking up!
9. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins Feb. 9 - Feb. 10 - The 2nd book in The Hunger Games trilogy, and just as rivoting as the first. I don't believe I can get my hands on book #3 fast enough!
10. Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins - Feb. 12 - Feb. 13 - The third installment of The Hunger Games trilogy. Really guys, read these books!
11. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - Feb. 27 - March 2 - I didn't really know what I was getting into when I started this story, but as usual, it was on the "free promotional" list on Amazon.com so I got it. This beautiful story about a 93 year old man in a nursing home is poignant and insightful. During his flashbacks to his life in circus, Gruen exposes us to the nitty-gritty behind the scenes work that us "rubes" never get to see. This strange lifestyle is something that we've all been curious about and we've all threatened to run of and do from time to time. While in the present, Gruen carefully takes us through the struggles of the indignity that is the aging and nursing home process in America. I would rate it PG-13 for some graphic violence and some sexual content, but all in all a lovely book.
12. After the Leaves Fall by Nicole Baart - March 3 - March 7 - There have been some really difficult things happening in my life at the moment, and this book was exactly what I needed. It may be one of the few free books that I have read on Amazon that I actually want to spend the money to get the rest of the books in the series, Summer Snow and Beneath the Night Tree. (In fact, I just took a break from writing this entry to do so.) This coming of age story about Julia, a character with whom every small town girl can relate to, follows a heartbreaking and frustrating path from a fallen, broken little girl to a fallen, broken woman in search of the grace that only come from the Father above. I didn't even know that this was a Christian fiction book until I got a fair amount into it, and I thought the spiritual aspect of the book was beautifully presented without being overly pushy. In Baart's first novel, I commend her for her beautiful analogies and comforting text. Many of the scenes left me heartbroken and in tears but the book ends with an amazing sense of hope. I can't wait to read the next book!
13. Summer Snow by Nicole Baart - March 7 - March 13 - The 2nd book of this trilogy was just as warm and touching as the first. As we continue to get to know Julia, and her crazy family, Baart does an exceptional job of capturing small town life and the difficulties with gossip, work, and an ever evolving family.
14. Beneath the Night Tree by Nicole Baart - March 13 - March 18 - The perfect end to this trilogy. Painful in places because I knew what was coming and my heart broke for Julia's situation, but it ended just like I had hoped. Well done, Ms. Baart. Thank you for sharing this family with us!
15. Wings by Aprilynne Pike - April 13 - April 15 - Another freebie on the Amazon list, and of course, I had to go get the sequel this morning from the Library. If you enjoyed the mythical nature and teenage angst of Twilight, this book is for you. A bit far fetched at times, but a quick an entertaining summer read if nothing else.
16. Spells by Aprilynne Pike - April 17 - April 18 - The sequel to Wings. I found this book just as entertaining as the first one and now I am completely sucked into the central love story. The third book is set to release the first week of May, so until then this Faerie story will be on pause. Can't wait!
17. Walking on Broken Glass by Christa Allan - April 20 - May 6 - READ THIS BOOK! That is all. A beautiful story about redemption and learning to be who you were created to be.
18. Illusions by Aprilynne Pike - May 10-13 - Darn you Aprilynne! I thought this would be the final book in the series and now I must wait a whole year before the real final book comes out. Great book in the series and I will hang on this cliff for awhile!
19. Alice at Heart by Deborah Smith - May 22-23 - I don't know how I got another fantasy book in here but I enjoyed it. This tale about mermaids and "landers" gives a great example of how far we go to fit into "normal".
20. Elisha's Bones by Don Hoesel - Sometime around Memorial Day - If you liked Angels and Demons or The DaVinci Code, I'm pretty sure you would enjoy this book. A book about intrigue, puzzles, conspiracy, and of course, a long lost biblical artifact. Elisha's Bones gets a little gory in some parts and a little long in others, but a decent enjoyable read.
21. A Tailor-Made Bride by Karen Witemeyer - First part of June - Ok, cute book and lovely story line and all, but it was super frustrating! Let me precursor with this: I love historical romance, Christian romance, and even a little smut now and again. This book tried to combine all three and honestly it made me feel like I was some sort of pervert. The author would talk about how the leading lady was noticing how the leading man's shirt stretched across his sinewy shoulders and firm chest and how is pants shaped his rear end and then the leading lady would chastise herself for looking at him in such a way, which in turn left me, as the reader, feeling like I was being a perv for thinking of him that way when she was the one putting the stupid thoughts in my head!
22. The Strange Case of Finley Jayne by Kady Cross - June 8-10 - This book is the prequel to The Girl in the Steel Corset and I am finding the whole Steampunk genre very oddly interesting. If you're out of the loop and unaware of what Steampunk is, the oh-so reliable Wikipedia defined Steampunk as "a sub-genre of science fiction, alternate history, and speculative fiction...an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century and often Victorian era Britain—that incorporates prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy. Works of steampunk often feature anachronistic technology or futuristic innovations as Victorians may have envisioned them; in other words, based on a Victorian perspective on fashion, culture, architectural style, art, etc. This technology may include such fictional machines as those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne or real technologies like the computer but developed earlier in an alternate history." I totally loved the dark undertones of the book and how they mixed with the Victorian setting. I am definitely looking forward to reading more of this style!"
Be sure to keep sharing ideas with me! Only 33 books left!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Curious about what I'm giving up for Lent?
Today marks the start of the 40 day journey to the cross.
First off, for those you that don't know, I am Baptist. American Baptist to be specific. I currently attend the church that I was born and raised in after a short stint with the Presbyterians while I went to college, and a little bit of everything while I toured. Typically, Baptists don't focus a whole lot on giving up things or doing anything special for Lent, short of maybe having an extra bible study, a few extra services, and a special communion service or two. I guess, that is too much of a generalization. Maybe they do, but I haven't encountered many of them.
Over the years, I have tried giving up a few things just because it was a cool thing that some of my friends were doing, profs encouraged it, or I was trying to impress someone. It never ended well, and if I made it a week, it was a miracle. I had pretty much given up, thinking that I didn't have the will power or my faith wasn't strong enough. But this year feels different.
This year, I am giving up excuses. I make at least 50 excuses everyday; to myself and to everyone around me. I try to cover up for my inability to follow through, or why I'm so unhealthy, or why my prayer life sucks, or why supper isn't ready. It gets old. I'm going to quit making excuses and wasting so much of everything, from time to talent to resources.
40 days of actually reading my bible instead of making an excuse about how I didn't have time.
40 days of actually working out instead of making an excuse about how I am too tired.
40 days of doing my best to keep a clean house and make a decent meal instead of making an excuse about how I don't know how.
40 days of spending time with God in prayer instead of making an excuse about how I forgot.
40 days of writing music, reading, reaching out to people in my life who need help, loving my youth group, cherishing my friends, hopelessly loving my husband and relishing in the fact that I am a child of the Most High King instead of making an excuse about how I'm not good enough, about how I'm not smart enough, about how I'm too busy, too tired, too scatterbrained, or too burned out to do anything.
I'm done making excuses. I never give myself a chance. These next 40 days will shoot me full throttle into the world of "adult food" spirituality and away from the "baby food" that I have been clinging on to for so long. It's time for me to grow up, in so many more ways than one. It's going to be uncomfortable...and it's going to be incredible.
First off, for those you that don't know, I am Baptist. American Baptist to be specific. I currently attend the church that I was born and raised in after a short stint with the Presbyterians while I went to college, and a little bit of everything while I toured. Typically, Baptists don't focus a whole lot on giving up things or doing anything special for Lent, short of maybe having an extra bible study, a few extra services, and a special communion service or two. I guess, that is too much of a generalization. Maybe they do, but I haven't encountered many of them.
Over the years, I have tried giving up a few things just because it was a cool thing that some of my friends were doing, profs encouraged it, or I was trying to impress someone. It never ended well, and if I made it a week, it was a miracle. I had pretty much given up, thinking that I didn't have the will power or my faith wasn't strong enough. But this year feels different.
This year, I am giving up excuses. I make at least 50 excuses everyday; to myself and to everyone around me. I try to cover up for my inability to follow through, or why I'm so unhealthy, or why my prayer life sucks, or why supper isn't ready. It gets old. I'm going to quit making excuses and wasting so much of everything, from time to talent to resources.
40 days of actually reading my bible instead of making an excuse about how I didn't have time.
40 days of actually working out instead of making an excuse about how I am too tired.
40 days of doing my best to keep a clean house and make a decent meal instead of making an excuse about how I don't know how.
40 days of spending time with God in prayer instead of making an excuse about how I forgot.
40 days of writing music, reading, reaching out to people in my life who need help, loving my youth group, cherishing my friends, hopelessly loving my husband and relishing in the fact that I am a child of the Most High King instead of making an excuse about how I'm not good enough, about how I'm not smart enough, about how I'm too busy, too tired, too scatterbrained, or too burned out to do anything.
I'm done making excuses. I never give myself a chance. These next 40 days will shoot me full throttle into the world of "adult food" spirituality and away from the "baby food" that I have been clinging on to for so long. It's time for me to grow up, in so many more ways than one. It's going to be uncomfortable...and it's going to be incredible.
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