Marathon Training: So much more than just the miles

6 weeks ago I started a journey.  Some 100+ miles later, I am a mere 14 weeks away from running 26.2 miles through Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri.  On my 14 mile run this morning, my longest I have logged in my entire life, I started thinking about how this training has become so much more than just running and running and running some more.

Marathon training is a balancing act.  I have to balance between work and running.  School and running. My husband and running. Sleep and running.  My faith and running.  So many things in my life demand and deserve attention and I know that they are important, but I am learning that running also deserves my attention.  Sometimes my 4 miles in the morning is the only time I get to be with just me.  I can sift through my thoughts, write endless blogs in my head that never make it to the computer screen, pray, or find an empty space in my head and just rest.  I am juggling the things in my life a bit better than I used to because through training, I have learned that being there for other people and fulfilling my responsibilities are important and I won't shirk those things that I know I need to do, but I won't give up training either.  There are some mornings when I skip a run because I stayed up a little too late playing Mario Kart with my husband, but there are also some nights when I have to say no to people or go a little easy on the soda or the food because I have a big run in the morning.  Its a balancing act.

Marathon training is an education about who you are.  When I crossed the finish line of my first triathlon back in April, I became a different person.  I finally became the strong, confident, radiant young woman that people had been telling me I could be.  I finally believed in myself.  Swimming, biking and jogging around like a mad person for 1:35:46 taught me that I could do anything if I only just did the work.  Running is teaching me that I can do anything if I just do the work and don't give up.  I am one of those people that typically doesn't try many new things because I like being competent and successful at what I am doing.  Training for a 26.2 mile race does not make me feel very competent or successful sometimes.  When it is hot and humid outside and when I'm running on three hours of sleep because I had another panic attack, my runs are awful.  Some days I am bloated or dehydrated or just crabby.  It happens.  I'm sure there are some mornings when I could have walked faster than I was running, but I still kept going.  I have given up on so many things in my life, and I realize that I still have 14 weeks and the actual race that could push me to that breaking point, but I don't think that will happen.  I have developed such a sense of resiliency and the ability to finish a run with a smile and say, "That sucked. Let's try again tomorrow." and move on with my day.  I am continuing to do things that I never even dreamed of.  I ran 14 miles this morning. 14!  Two years ago I couldn't have run for 14 minutes, let alone 14 miles.  Those of you who know me, know that this feat is pretty insane, but guys, I am doing it.  For the first time in my life, EVER, I am comfortable with who I am.  I stepped on the scale yesterday for the first time in about three weeks and I was really nervous about what it would say.  When that number popped up, the only thing I could think about was how, even though I really liked the number that I saw, my weight really didn't matter anymore.  What a bizarre thought to have.  I have been trying to lose weight most of my adult life and now all of the sudden, it doesn't matter?  What a freeing feeling! My body is no where near perfect.  Every time a car drives by, I am pretty sure the passenger is making a snarky comment to the driver about my thunder thighs jiggling in the wind, and I know that my stomach will never look like a fitness model's six-pack abs, but for the first time in my life, I love my body.  Blisters, stretch marks, zits and all.

Marathon training is a listening exercise.  I have to listen to everything around me.  I need to know where cars are so I don't get hit.  I have to listen to the music to help me find my cadence and to free up my head space.  I have to listen to the sound of my feet hitting the ground so I know if my body is out of balance because of something I am mechanically doing wrong or if there is an issue with my socks or shoes or some other external factor.  And most importantly,  I have to listen to my body and know when it it is time for water, a snack, a walk break, or a day off.  I have to know my body well enough to get it moving 5 days a week for a minimum of 35 minutes a day and on Saturdays upwards of 3 hours (and that number will only get longer).  And I have to listen to my heart.  I have to listen when it tells me that I can do this when my legs and hips and head tell me that I can't.  I have to listen when God speaks to it mid run and there is nothing I can do but cry and keep going.  I have to listen to it when it gives me encouragement after someone has given me a funny look or said a hurtful comment after I mention that I am training.  I used to think that I was an excellent listener.  I wasn't, but I sure am now.

Marathon training is not for everyone.  There are lots of things that I think everyone (mostly) can participate in.  5Ks are an amazing example.  I believe everyone should do a 5K at least once in their life.  Just so they can feel what it feels like to wear a race bib and cross a finish line with people cheering for you at the end.  It is wonderful.  But going 3.1 miles is a whole heap different than going 26.2.  I have spent the better part of 6 months praying and thinking and preparing and researching for this.  Do not take up marathon training lightly. Some people's bodies are not meant to run.  Structurally, we are all built a little bit differently.  I was never built for speed.  I will never be the front runner for any race.  But I have learned that I am a creature of endurance, and if I can get past that 2 mile mark, I can go for days.  My body is meant to do this kind of thing.  I just treated it so poorly for years that I never knew.  If marathon training is not for you, that is ok, it is your story.  But then find something that is for you and love every sencond of it.

Marathon training is preparation.  More thought and planning and searching and tinkering went into getting me ready to start training than almost any other project I have undertaken.  I had to buy new shoes, new socks, a race belt, non cotton underwear, bottles upon bottles of sunscreen, and power gels and an obscene number of bananas. I read three different books and looked at more blogs than was probably good for me.  But when I started, I knew I was prepared.  Be a boy scout. Do your homework and know your stuff.  You want this to be a safe and fun and amazing experience.  Don't ruin it by not being ready and getting injured or bringing heat stroke down on yourself because you didn't pack water.

Marathon training is the mileage.  I know I said in the beginning that it is more than that, and it is, but the mileage is still important.  I still have to drag myself out of bed and pound that pavement. I have do to the work.  So between now and October 14th, I will continue to yank on my black and pink running shoes and smear some sunscreen on my nose so I can get at it again.  Mile after mile, I just search for that happy place and settle in for a good run.  One of the best feelings in the world.

One of my mentors and former teachers commented on this post run picture of me on facebook and said, "Who is this girl?" And do you know what, I don't know who she is, but I like her quite a bit and I hope she is ready to stick around for a long while. I love being happy and healthy and showing everyone that even though they may not be prepared to run a marathon tomorrow, they are still more than ready to get healthy today.

Much love. Britt.

Midwest Living Sucks

 I have lived in Nebraska for 21 of my 26 years.  More specifically, North Platte, Nebraska.  Most days I don't mind it, but lately it has been really difficult.  In the past six months, we have lost three sets of friends to bigger and better cities/jobs.  We have taken on the responsibility of trying to keep a handful of middle school and high school kids Christ centered in an ever unbalanced world.  I started school.  My life was tilted off its axis quite a bit earlier this summer.  I started training for a marathon. We planned (and are about ready to execute) a mission trip. Sam started playing softball with another church in a league here in town.  We have traveled up and down the whole United States playing soccer and visiting and going to weddings and seeing family and running races and helping people. 

But it has not been enough.  Midwest people can never give, do, provide, work, or be enough.  For the most part, it is an excellent idea to want to better yourself and your community, but sometimes, it is exhausting.  The worst questions I get asked on an almost weekly basis include:

-"When are you going to start bringing your nice young couples to church on Sunday?"

....Ummm....we have no friends.  Thank you so much for reminding me, again, that we sit home alone together and watch Family Guy and Downton Abbey because we don't really have any friends under the age of 40 in this town.  I had completely forgotten how lonely we were until you brought it up....again.  But here, let me put on a sandwich board and walk up and down Jeffers asking for "nice young couples" to join us for a morning of worship. 

-"Have you started thinking about babies yet? The church nursery looks pretty bare.  I'm sure your dad would just be over the moon if he had a little redheaded grandbaby to carry around.  I bet you and Sam have the cutest little redheaded babies., etc."

I get it.  You want me to have a baby. But it is my uterus and my business.  What if I am not able to have children?  Did you ever think of that?  (I don't know if my body is able to or not, but it is something that I worry about frequently and you asking about it makes me worry all the more.)  And when was the last time you had to pay for maternity insurance?  If you would like to pay the extra $180ish a month in the hopes that I might get pregnant, be my guest! And how do you know what God's plan is for my life and for Sam's life?  He is moving and changing things in my life right now and I am not really in the place to be bringing a child into the world while going to school and working full time and leading a youth group and teaching Zumba and cleaning house and spending time with the love of my life.

-"So what are you doing with your life now?"

Absolutely nothing. Squat.  and at the same time, everything under the sun.  To some of my "more famous friends", I am sure my life looks mundane and boring compared to the glamorousness that they live on the coast, but I am making a difference where I am doing what I can with what I have when I can at this moment in my life.

-"Can you help with....donate to....lead the...."

Currently I am trying to live my life with only joy, strength, love, compassion, laughter, wisdom and hope. As a culture, the Midwest demands that you work at your job all week and then work all weekend doing the things that you can't get done during the week because you are too busy working.  Sometimes I say no to you.  Not to be mean or snide, but so that I can mold myself to my couch and watch something dumb on the tv with my husband on Saturday afternoon or so that I can actually cook a meal instead of feeding him tatertot casserole...again.  I say no to you because I choose to use my limited cash flow to support causes that are important to me. And I say no to you because I do not believe that I am the kind of strong, intelligent leader that you think I am. 


Frankly, Sam and I have no desire to move out of the South Dakota, Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma, Missouri region.  But there are those days, the days when the string of requests and prying questions seems never ending and the list of good, dear friends within a 30 mile radius is shorter than my softball career.  Those are the days when I wish and dream and hope of a life in a big city where we have a small group of good friends but no one outside of that circle knows my maiden name.  It may sound odd, but I want a life on anonymity and intimacy at the same time.  It is probably unattainable, especially in a community where everyone seems to know you peed before you have even flushed the toilet, but I am trying.  Please, just throw me a bone here.