My husband and I just bought a house. In North Platte. Yes, the town that I said I would never go back to. But, now I'm here and we have made this commitment to be here for at least five years. Sam loves his job and enjoys the work that we get to do in our church and the Sunday evening soccer league that he plays in with some area doctors and other guys. He enjoys the fishing, Brothers Tavern, and the fact that we now have a garage that allows him to dink around on cars and a new house with a plethora of opportunities for him to expand his Mr. Fix-It skills (a talent that a truly respect and admire in him. He has fixed our garage door opener, dishwasher, basement sink trap, washing machine drain, and is in the process of installing a shower in our upstairs bathroom.) My husband is truly amazing. I knew the moment that I met him that he was beyond anything that I could have ever imagined and every day I appreciate him more and more. I don't know how many thousands of dollars he has saved people over the years by helping them with cars, household stuff, computers, etc. He thrives in the role of being that guy that can fix anything.
But what about me? Where do I belong in this town? When I worked at the Playhouse, I was simply that. I felt flat. I felt like people only saw me as the face of the Playhouse and nothing more. My reputation reigned supreme as the girl who volunteered for everything, worked long hours, and would bend over backwards for everything. I lost my health, gave my husband way more grief than he ever deserved, and I lost myself. I thought I was only theatre. Then it all ended.
I have been working part time for the past 7 months with very little theatre in my life and it has completely changed me. I have learned that there is so much more to me. I can be a songwriter, a housecleaner, a person of faith with a developing theology, a really good best friend, and a decent wife. For years I thought that theatre was the only way that I could express myself. It was my only outlet for self expression. Now I can express myself through fabric and yarn and paper and music and all other things artistic that I never knew about. Things and ideas that I never dreamed I was capable of!
In a little over a week I'm going to back to full time. I'm so happy for the opportunity because its going to allow me to reach some goals that Sam and I have been striving for. It will be easier to pay the bills and for me to keep up my new found love for crafting. My hope and my prayer is that I be able to cling to my identity and not let the idea of a reputation get the better of me.
