I had a really interesting conversation with a dear friend last night about motivation. We are both bigger girls and deal with the constant struggle to find pants that fit, bras in our size sold in stores (rather than just online), and an exercise schedule that works for us and makes us feel comfortable instead of ousted.
She told me that she was jealous of my motivation and my eagerness to stay healthy and lose weight. I just had to smile and shake my head. It's impossible to be totally motivated all of the time. If you try to stay 100% motivated 100% of the time you simply turn to yo-yo dieting where people drop 50lbs in 2 months and then gain it all back (plus more) when their motivation finally empties out. Instead of wasting all of my motivation right at the beginning, I have learned to ration it out when I really need it and then mix it with some bribery/corrosion (Just do it Brittany and then you can come home and take a nap; just do it Brittany and then you can come home and play some a game on the computer for a few minutes.) and I find that I can maintain my current lifestyle and fitness trend a lot longer than I ever had before. Being healthy is not about eating nothing but celery for 4 months and working out like an olympic athlete. Being healthy is about finding the balance in what you eat and how to stay active.
If I have learned anything in these past 4 months, its that when it comes to motivation, you've got to fake it until you make it. In the past 116 days, I have lost a grand total of 25 lbs (an average of only .25lbs a day) which is not spectacular, especially when you compare it to the 101 lbs in 17 weeks that Irene recently lost on Biggest Loser. It has been a slow and sometimes painful process in which I am forced to look at my eating choices, my exercise habits, and what is emotionally and mentally going on with me. There have been days where I definitely wanted to give up but I just keep faking motivation until I'm hit with another wave.
Becoming a Zumba instructor has also been a big factor in this life change. I don't have the option of not working out 4 days a week. On top of not being able to skip classes, I've really had to change my eating. I learned pretty quickly that if I ate fries and a coke before I taught class, it ended up being a very uncomfortable and BLOATED class, but if I ate some fruit leather and a hand full of almonds, I was smiling and sweating and having a good time. Now, I've been trying (and succeeding most days) to give myself healthier eating options and believe it or not, my body has started craving healthy options! And every time I have eaten fast food since January, my body has made me regret it. We're not meant to eat that stuff (except for Coke. I still can't give up Coke!) and your body with thank you many times over for not subjecting it to it.
Here is a list of some of the major lessons that I have learned and have really helped (and continue to help) me:
Easy things you can change to make healthy choices:
1. Quit making excuses about working out. Get off your butt and go for a walk. Take a class. I have found that classes work a lot better for me because it takes the questioning out of my workout. I show up, do the class, and then go home. I don't have to walk into some big huge gym and just stare at the equipment while feeling intimidated about it all. Zumba is the only workout that I have ever found that leaves me with a smile on my face when I'm done. Find what you love and do it. (P.S. Did you know that walking laps in a pool burns almost twice the calories of walking on land?!)
2. Find an accountability partner. Its a lot easier to struggle when you have the tough (but gentle) love of a friend who is walking the same road with you. Set a goal, a time line, and a reward for yourself (and don't use food for a reward. It never works out!) for reaching that goal. Celebrate the good things together and discuss what needs to be changed or where you messed up if you have an off week. Whether it's just you and a friend, or a group of friends, support is good. I do find that's its best for everyone to have the same general fitness goals, though. (Meaning if you are looking to lose some weight don't pair up with someone who is looking to run a marathon or vice versa. It makes it really difficult to challenge and support each other if you are on such different levels.)
3. Healthy eating sometimes takes awhile. Find some simple recipes and try to make some easier things if cooking isn't your thing. I am not a big fan of some of the "diet" cookbooks out there because they have an ingredient list two pages long and and filled with lots of items that you can't get here in the armpit of Nebraska. You have to force your mind to make better choices for awhile before your body starts to do it for you. Stick it out. I promise it will get better.
4. Little changes are way more important than big ones. How many of us have started that carb-free or fat-free or calorie-free diet that limits us to 17 calories a day and only chicken or intense exercise for 15 days straight and then 4 days where you are supposed to load up on carbs only to make it for a week before getting so frustrated that we give up? Don't try to change all the big problems at once. Start out by cutting your soda intake. Take a 15 minute walk. Substitute apple sauce for oil when baking and use fat free sour cream on your taco. Buy a pair of ankle weights and wear them under your work pants (maybe don't do this if you wear heels to work, trust me...) While watching TV simply stretch or get up and walk in place during the commercials. Little things make a much bigger impact because you are able to sustain them over a long period of time instead of crashing into huge changes and then giving up after a week.
5. Have a pair of goal pants as well as a goal weight. I have no qualms telling people that I currently weigh 189 lbs because I don't feel like I look like it. I have solid legs and as the old saying goes "muscle weighs more than fat." I have a goal weight, but I also have a pair of pants that I bought a few years ago hoping that I would be able to fit into them someday (obviously that someday has not arrived yet!). I'm pretty close to being able to button them, but I still have a decent amount to go until I reach my ideal weight. Having two different goals (one weight related and one size related) has provided me with some perspective in regard to my body. Would I prefer to be smaller and a bit on the softer side or would I prefer to be a bit heavier and feel toned and strong? How much does the number on the scale or on the tag of my pants mean to me vs. how I feel about myself? Also, there are some weeks where you feel like the scale is stuck. During those times, try on the said goal pants to see if your body measurements are just playing catch up to your weight loss, or if you have truly hit a plateau.
What I have to say about my fitness and health journey is nothing new. This same stuff has been said to me time and time again, it just took a few times for it to click with me. I'm not a health nut or a certified personal trainer or even anyone of any importance. I'm just trying to be me, and for once in my life, I feel like I'm getting close. :)
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
A letter to my unmarried self:
Dear Brittany,
You're getting married in just a few short days. Here are some things to remember:
-Find the straps to your dress. The seamstress did not alter it correctly and you will feel more comfortable with them on.
-Relax during pictures, or you'll end up looking scared (with your nostrils flared) in some of them.
- Eat an extra meatball and an extra cupcake. It's your wedding. Just do it.
Ok, but seriously,
Remember that you are about to stand up in front of all of your dearest friends and family and profess the love that you have for your best friend. He is the man that you have been waiting for your entire life. Don't mess this up. I can't promise you that this first year won't be difficult. In fact, you'll end up buying a new car, both of you will end up in completely different jobs, he'll make you learn how to drive a stick shift on Jeffers, you'll learn that he leaves his dirty socks inside out on the kitchen floor and he'll think thats its disgusting that you clean your ears with q-tips after you get out of the shower. It will take him awhile to learn that sometimes you just need a hug and you'll need to figure out that when he doesn't feel well, he doesn't want to be babied, he just wants to be left alone to sleep. Neither one of you will want to do the dishes and finances can take a while to figure out.
But also remember that every morning you get to wake up next to your best friend. In spite of all of the grossness of this world and your current position in life, you get to walk hand and hand with the one that makes you smile like a big cheesball. He will always be there to protect you when someone attacks you, slap you across the face (figuratively) when you are being ridiculous, and bring you the book, shoes, bra, CD, brush, tape, etc. that you happened to forget and can't get through the performance or meeting or day without it.
In turn, don't forget that coming home to a warm meal is a wonderful feeling, and doing the dishes yourself is a lot less painful than picking a fight over it. "Thank you" can never be heard enough and we don't get lost, we take the scenic route. Stand beside him when he's feeling beaten and love him, even if you don't seem to like each other at that given moment. Help his as best you know how and don't forget that the cat sometimes likes him better.
Marriage is not easy. No one ever told you that it would be. But, marriage is an amazing and interesting trip, to say the least. As Larry told you, don't ever stop looking for and enjoying the mystery that is this life. Live your life with a passion and intensity to serve your loving and amazing God and worship Him with your husband by your side.
Take each moment and cherish it. Don't waste a single minute, a single breath, a single heartbeat. Love him. Let him love you. And together, change the little piece of world that you belong to in the name of He who created you.
You're getting married in just a few short days. Here are some things to remember:
-Find the straps to your dress. The seamstress did not alter it correctly and you will feel more comfortable with them on.
-Relax during pictures, or you'll end up looking scared (with your nostrils flared) in some of them.
- Eat an extra meatball and an extra cupcake. It's your wedding. Just do it.
Ok, but seriously,
Remember that you are about to stand up in front of all of your dearest friends and family and profess the love that you have for your best friend. He is the man that you have been waiting for your entire life. Don't mess this up. I can't promise you that this first year won't be difficult. In fact, you'll end up buying a new car, both of you will end up in completely different jobs, he'll make you learn how to drive a stick shift on Jeffers, you'll learn that he leaves his dirty socks inside out on the kitchen floor and he'll think thats its disgusting that you clean your ears with q-tips after you get out of the shower. It will take him awhile to learn that sometimes you just need a hug and you'll need to figure out that when he doesn't feel well, he doesn't want to be babied, he just wants to be left alone to sleep. Neither one of you will want to do the dishes and finances can take a while to figure out.
But also remember that every morning you get to wake up next to your best friend. In spite of all of the grossness of this world and your current position in life, you get to walk hand and hand with the one that makes you smile like a big cheesball. He will always be there to protect you when someone attacks you, slap you across the face (figuratively) when you are being ridiculous, and bring you the book, shoes, bra, CD, brush, tape, etc. that you happened to forget and can't get through the performance or meeting or day without it.
In turn, don't forget that coming home to a warm meal is a wonderful feeling, and doing the dishes yourself is a lot less painful than picking a fight over it. "Thank you" can never be heard enough and we don't get lost, we take the scenic route. Stand beside him when he's feeling beaten and love him, even if you don't seem to like each other at that given moment. Help his as best you know how and don't forget that the cat sometimes likes him better.
Marriage is not easy. No one ever told you that it would be. But, marriage is an amazing and interesting trip, to say the least. As Larry told you, don't ever stop looking for and enjoying the mystery that is this life. Live your life with a passion and intensity to serve your loving and amazing God and worship Him with your husband by your side.
Take each moment and cherish it. Don't waste a single minute, a single breath, a single heartbeat. Love him. Let him love you. And together, change the little piece of world that you belong to in the name of He who created you.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Tikva: The Garden Song
The lyrics to the song that Tikva will be playing at the service tonight:
The Garden Song
Little bird sits on the branch that it calls home
Watching that man walk by
With his head hung low and sorrow on his breath.
The bird questions "Why?
What was this man here for?"
And then he heard Him cry
"Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
The tree stands by as he kneels down.
Crushed under the weight on his shoulders.
Praying for those who have yet to see.
Sweat drops form as the blood begins to fall.
He knows that this act will make the old ways now new.
Then He laid and cried
""Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
The spirit is willing but the body is weak.
Who will stay awake with Him.
He's given so much and taken so little.
And soon He'll give all that he has.
And can't you hear Him cry
"Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
Not my will.
Not my will.
But Yours.
The Garden Song
Little bird sits on the branch that it calls home
Watching that man walk by
With his head hung low and sorrow on his breath.
The bird questions "Why?
What was this man here for?"
And then he heard Him cry
"Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
The tree stands by as he kneels down.
Crushed under the weight on his shoulders.
Praying for those who have yet to see.
Sweat drops form as the blood begins to fall.
He knows that this act will make the old ways now new.
Then He laid and cried
""Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
The spirit is willing but the body is weak.
Who will stay awake with Him.
He's given so much and taken so little.
And soon He'll give all that he has.
And can't you hear Him cry
"Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please take this cup from me.
Oh Abba, my Daddy. Please save me.
But it's not my will. Not my will but Yours."
Not my will.
Not my will.
But Yours.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The agony and beauty of growing pains.
These last ten months have been a period of incredible pain and growth. Last July, when I headed to Camp Moses Merrill to spend a week as a counselor, I was fat, spiritually broken, and emotionally lost.
I spoke at the final campfire about not giving up your faith even when it gets discouraging because I was at the end of my rope. Stress from my job, a new marriage, a dangerously low body image and serious doubts about the faith that I had believed in for all of my life had beaten me down to next to nothing. I can remember sitting with Greg in the swimming pool, watching campers splash each other and enjoy the sunshine, feeling completely lost. As we talked he told me that maybe this period of darkness and pain was stretching me and preparing me for something. Internally, I laughed at him. How could God be preparing me for anything bigger? I was stuck in a painful job, living in the hometown that I swore I would never go back to, and suffocating in a body that was on its way to a life of fast food, diabetes, and a fullfillment of my family's history of heart disease.
As I was driving to a baby shower this past weekend, listening to some different song ideas that Greg had recorded, I pulled over and just reflected on where I've been and how far I have come since that awful conversation on the pool steps. I've quit my job, become a fitness instructor (going from a XL to a M shirt size in the proceess), read and learned more about the Christian faith, and finally found peace in knowing that growing pains don't last for an eternity. It all culminated in my facebook status the other day, "Sometimes I have to remind myself that maybe God isn't closing doors in my face to be mean. I think He's got some totally wonderful and amazing door for me, but he's making sure I'm ready when it opens."
Growing pains are frustrating. For the past several months I've been writhing around in my own agony, feeling abandoned and alone. This past weekend I finally relaxed and found comfort in the hope that I am near the end of this growing streak.
One of the songs that Greg and I wrote talks about how I'm just an average girl with dreams of something more. It talks about how I need to know His plans so we can get this show on the road. And while that is very much how I feel, I'm going to spend the time that I have been given stretching and forcing myself to grow even more so that when that door finally opens, when that plan is finally revealed, I'll be ready.
I spoke at the final campfire about not giving up your faith even when it gets discouraging because I was at the end of my rope. Stress from my job, a new marriage, a dangerously low body image and serious doubts about the faith that I had believed in for all of my life had beaten me down to next to nothing. I can remember sitting with Greg in the swimming pool, watching campers splash each other and enjoy the sunshine, feeling completely lost. As we talked he told me that maybe this period of darkness and pain was stretching me and preparing me for something. Internally, I laughed at him. How could God be preparing me for anything bigger? I was stuck in a painful job, living in the hometown that I swore I would never go back to, and suffocating in a body that was on its way to a life of fast food, diabetes, and a fullfillment of my family's history of heart disease.
As I was driving to a baby shower this past weekend, listening to some different song ideas that Greg had recorded, I pulled over and just reflected on where I've been and how far I have come since that awful conversation on the pool steps. I've quit my job, become a fitness instructor (going from a XL to a M shirt size in the proceess), read and learned more about the Christian faith, and finally found peace in knowing that growing pains don't last for an eternity. It all culminated in my facebook status the other day, "Sometimes I have to remind myself that maybe God isn't closing doors in my face to be mean. I think He's got some totally wonderful and amazing door for me, but he's making sure I'm ready when it opens."
Growing pains are frustrating. For the past several months I've been writhing around in my own agony, feeling abandoned and alone. This past weekend I finally relaxed and found comfort in the hope that I am near the end of this growing streak.
One of the songs that Greg and I wrote talks about how I'm just an average girl with dreams of something more. It talks about how I need to know His plans so we can get this show on the road. And while that is very much how I feel, I'm going to spend the time that I have been given stretching and forcing myself to grow even more so that when that door finally opens, when that plan is finally revealed, I'll be ready.
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