Last New Year's Eve I set some goals/resolutions that I wanted to acheive this year. Here's how I did:
1. Finally get healthy. - I am going to vote this one a thumbs up. I have lost 40 lbs thus far and have grown so much when it comes to know what I need to be doing to be a healthier person. It is still a struggle everday to get up and get to the gym, but Zumba makes life a lot easier...now if I could just get a chef to come cook delicious, healthy foods for me, I would have this down!
2. Read 52 books by December 31, 2011. - Epic failure. I think I only made it half way through this goal. I was pretty on track until we bought a house and went on three very busy trips this summer and then I started back to full time work.
3. Create a loving and nurturing and drama free environment in my home. - This is an ever constant work in progress. I have learned a lot about Sam and I over the last 365 days and our relationship continues to be a loving journey with a few bumps in the road. He is continuing to learn that sometimes I just need a hug and I am continuing to learn that sometimes he's not mad at me, he is mad at the situation. I still can't keep my house as clean as I would like, but that comes with the territory of working full time and choosing to spend my evenings with my husband and my friends instead of doing dishes and scrubbing the floors.
4. Be open to what God is trying to tell me and quit fighting Him. - This was really difficult for me. In June I went to Puerto Rico hoping for something big to happen and boy, did it. It wasn't an earth shattering, life changing single moment, but merely the start of a opportunity for a very dear friend that has led to more prayer and thought and tears than I ever thought possible. November brought the final culmination of it all, and starting on January 15, Sam and I will lead our Epicenter Youth Group without our very dear friend. While out driving the other day, I saw a church sign that said "Don't ask God to move you if you aren't willing to pick up your feet." Well, its time for me to pick up my feet.
5. Try to love everyone with intensity and passion so that they may know God's love through me for as long as our paths cross. Some people are only in our lives for a short period of time, and I want to impact everyone in the best possible way. - Without going into too much detail, this resolution has changed and is continuing to change my life.
So, there are my goals for the next 361 days. I'll try to keep an updated list of my books and how things are going. Thanks!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
A mermaid or a whale?: What life is like as a mer-whale.
Recently, a picture (of a beautiful woman, who is also naked, so you will not see it pictured here) has been floating around facebook with this story underneath:
"A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.
Mermaids do not exist. But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends. We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn) Feel free to tag yourselves :)"
Ummmm....what if I am a mer-whale?
I realize that there is a severely perverse body image problem in the world and this letter makes a very good argument at what appears to be a very insensitive advertisement, but I don't feel like I can condone being a "whale." As shows like The Biggest Loser, Heavy, Dance Your A** Off, and other shows continue to have great popularity week after week, it brings to light all of the problems that obesity brings. I know that we should not be forcing girls into the unhealthy image that we all need to skinny and look like a stick bug, but I don't feel like we should be complacent and just let women increase their risk of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and stroke while decreasing their life expentency, and in quite a few cases, their ability to conceive children.
Most of you (friends and facebook "creepers" alike) have been keeping up with me on my wieght loss journey over the past 9 months. I started out weighing 213.5 lb on January 1st, 2011 and this morning, when I stepped on the scale it said 174.8. I've lost an average of 4.5 lbs a month and (not to sound self righteous) I'm not starving myself. I'm not working out 40 hours a week. I'm just doing things the best way I know how. I food journal as I am able, I exercize 3-5 times a week, and I cheat every now and again (sorry, but anyone who can give up Coke, chocolate, french fies and delivery pizza all at the same time is not living) I know that I will never be skinny girl but that does not I am given a free pass to let myself be unhealthy. I feel like I am nearing the point where I don't have a whole lot left to lose, but that doesn't mean that I should revert back to my old habits of burgers and ice cream. If I have learned one thing over the course of my wieght struggles, it's that pills, shakes, diets, cleanses, and the like are just temporary (and sometimes dangerous) fixes that never last. A healthy lifestyle isn't supposed to last 2 weeks or 90 days. A lifestyle is supposed to last your whole life!
When I started this whole journey, it was about a game. It was about a 12 week challenge to try and drop as much weight as possible and win a few prizes from our local radio station. Now its about staying healthy, eating food that is good for me, and living a life with my husband that I once never thought possible. I'm sure most of you know this, but I'll inform you anyway. I think my husband is a hunk. He's tall and strong looking with broad shoulders and legs that show off his 20 year soccer career. When Sam and I first started dating, I felt like other girls looked at us and thought "What is he doing with her?" Now, when I walk into a room with the love of my life, I feel like people think "Wow. What a beautiful couple." After getting married, I spent many a conversation with close friends about my fear of fertility problems. Now, after dropping several points off of my BMI, I have increased my ability to concieve, while decreasing my risk of infertility, anovulation (a period without an egg), miscarraige, and polycistic ovarian syndrome.
Weight and size aren't everything, but loving your body is. Treating it with respect is. Living life to the fullest and appreciating the beautiful structure that God gave me to live in is.
This isn't a blog to scare women into being thin. This isn't a blog disrepecting my body or any of the bodies of my friends who are all beautiful and wonderful creations of the Father that loves us so very much. This blog is a call to the end of complacently because you think things can't change. They can. This blog is to promote awareness that you can be overwieght and still healthy (I out-Zumbaed a lot of "skinny-chicks" in my certification class and I can run and stretch a lot better as a size 12 than some of the size 2 people that I know).
What this blog is about is respecting yourself, forgetting the number on the scale or inside your waistsband, and remembering what it felt like as a child to ride your bike around the block without getting winded. To learn what your body feels like after a yummy and healthy meal. And to experience the crazy glow after a good workout.
Don't let the proverbial "man" get you down about your wieght or your size, but don't be afraid to take that first step towards a healthy life. Taking a walk isn't giving in to society's strange rules on body image, it's giving you a way to make yourself healthier.
Women are crazy strong creatures who also have the amazing ability to comfort and uplift each other. So talk to me, talk to a friend, a counselor, a personal trainer, and start your lifestyle today.
So, whether you are a "mermaid or a whale," a 2 or a 22, get healthy. Grow in God and learn to love yourself where ever you are on your journey and don't be afraid to take that first step.
Love,
Your dear friend and constant encourager
"A while back, at the entrance of a gym, there was a picture of a very thin and beautiful woman. The caption was "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"
The story goes, a woman (of clothing size unknown) answered the following way:
"Dear people, whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, seals, curious humans), they are sexually active and raise their children with great tenderness. They entertain like crazy with dolphins and eat lots of prawns. They swim all day and travel to fantastic places like Patagonia, the Barents Sea or the coral reefs of Polynesia. They sing incredibly well and sometimes even are on cds. They are impressive and dearly loved animals, which everyone defend and admires.
Mermaids do not exist. But if they existed, they would line up to see a psychologist because of a problem of split personality: woman or fish? They would have no sex life and could not bear children. Yes, they would be lovely, but lonely and sad. And, who wants a girl that smells like fish by his side?
Without a doubt, I'd rather be a whale.
At a time when the media tells us that only thin is beautiful, I prefer to eat ice cream with my kids, to have dinner with my husband, to eat and drink and have fun with my friends. We women, we gain weight because we accumulate so much wisdom and knowledge that there isn't enough space in our heads, and it spreads all over our bodies. We are not fat, we are greatly cultivated. Every time I see my curves in the mirror, I tell myself: "How amazing am I ?! "
(The girl on the picture is French model Tara Lynn) Feel free to tag yourselves :)"
Ummmm....what if I am a mer-whale?
I realize that there is a severely perverse body image problem in the world and this letter makes a very good argument at what appears to be a very insensitive advertisement, but I don't feel like I can condone being a "whale." As shows like The Biggest Loser, Heavy, Dance Your A** Off, and other shows continue to have great popularity week after week, it brings to light all of the problems that obesity brings. I know that we should not be forcing girls into the unhealthy image that we all need to skinny and look like a stick bug, but I don't feel like we should be complacent and just let women increase their risk of diabetes, cancer, heart disease, and stroke while decreasing their life expentency, and in quite a few cases, their ability to conceive children.
Most of you (friends and facebook "creepers" alike) have been keeping up with me on my wieght loss journey over the past 9 months. I started out weighing 213.5 lb on January 1st, 2011 and this morning, when I stepped on the scale it said 174.8. I've lost an average of 4.5 lbs a month and (not to sound self righteous) I'm not starving myself. I'm not working out 40 hours a week. I'm just doing things the best way I know how. I food journal as I am able, I exercize 3-5 times a week, and I cheat every now and again (sorry, but anyone who can give up Coke, chocolate, french fies and delivery pizza all at the same time is not living) I know that I will never be skinny girl but that does not I am given a free pass to let myself be unhealthy. I feel like I am nearing the point where I don't have a whole lot left to lose, but that doesn't mean that I should revert back to my old habits of burgers and ice cream. If I have learned one thing over the course of my wieght struggles, it's that pills, shakes, diets, cleanses, and the like are just temporary (and sometimes dangerous) fixes that never last. A healthy lifestyle isn't supposed to last 2 weeks or 90 days. A lifestyle is supposed to last your whole life!
When I started this whole journey, it was about a game. It was about a 12 week challenge to try and drop as much weight as possible and win a few prizes from our local radio station. Now its about staying healthy, eating food that is good for me, and living a life with my husband that I once never thought possible. I'm sure most of you know this, but I'll inform you anyway. I think my husband is a hunk. He's tall and strong looking with broad shoulders and legs that show off his 20 year soccer career. When Sam and I first started dating, I felt like other girls looked at us and thought "What is he doing with her?" Now, when I walk into a room with the love of my life, I feel like people think "Wow. What a beautiful couple." After getting married, I spent many a conversation with close friends about my fear of fertility problems. Now, after dropping several points off of my BMI, I have increased my ability to concieve, while decreasing my risk of infertility, anovulation (a period without an egg), miscarraige, and polycistic ovarian syndrome.
Weight and size aren't everything, but loving your body is. Treating it with respect is. Living life to the fullest and appreciating the beautiful structure that God gave me to live in is.
This isn't a blog to scare women into being thin. This isn't a blog disrepecting my body or any of the bodies of my friends who are all beautiful and wonderful creations of the Father that loves us so very much. This blog is a call to the end of complacently because you think things can't change. They can. This blog is to promote awareness that you can be overwieght and still healthy (I out-Zumbaed a lot of "skinny-chicks" in my certification class and I can run and stretch a lot better as a size 12 than some of the size 2 people that I know).
What this blog is about is respecting yourself, forgetting the number on the scale or inside your waistsband, and remembering what it felt like as a child to ride your bike around the block without getting winded. To learn what your body feels like after a yummy and healthy meal. And to experience the crazy glow after a good workout.
Don't let the proverbial "man" get you down about your wieght or your size, but don't be afraid to take that first step towards a healthy life. Taking a walk isn't giving in to society's strange rules on body image, it's giving you a way to make yourself healthier.
Women are crazy strong creatures who also have the amazing ability to comfort and uplift each other. So talk to me, talk to a friend, a counselor, a personal trainer, and start your lifestyle today.
So, whether you are a "mermaid or a whale," a 2 or a 22, get healthy. Grow in God and learn to love yourself where ever you are on your journey and don't be afraid to take that first step.
Love,
Your dear friend and constant encourager
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Where was I?
Ten years ago I was a sophomore in high school, sitting in journalism class. Life was scary because I had papers due, I didn't have many friends, and I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. Now, I am sitting in the home that I own with my husband that we were only able to afford because someone couldn't anymore because of the recession, and life is scary because those who "run" our country won't quit fighting, the media swings the vote instead of letting people know the true issues at hand, more people are living without jobs, more people are hungry, more people are bullied for what they believe, ways they act, and who they are. Life is scary because friends are fighting a never ending war against terrorists, cancer, against grief and loss and disease since 9-11-01, and against unseen dark forces that move in our world. Please, God, let peace start now.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
A thousand beautiful things: The beginning
So, another beginning in my life. Another journey. This one towards more joy and less stress. More peace and less whining.
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| #1. The telephone nook in our home with pictures and memories of Sam and I and shells I have collected from the falls in Joplin. |
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| #2. A hard worker who happens to look adorable in a baseball cap. |
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| #3. A cat who loves crafting just as much as I do. |
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| #4. Tie-dyed hands after a night spent teaching a friend. |
Monday, September 5, 2011
Stolen from a friend who stole it from someone else.
One of my dearest and bestest friends in the world has taught me so much. She has helped me through rough patches in my marriage, talked me down from countless anxiety attacks, taught me cooking secrets, and has joined me on a plethora of crafting adventures. This summer she started a series entitled "A Thousand Beautiful Things."
At first, I kind of laughed at her an thought to myself "A thousand things? In this world? Probably not." I kind of stuck with this mentality until last night at youth group.
For our fall schedule, we are walking the kids through the fruit of the Spirit. Sam and Greg and I talked with them last night about what fruit they thought was the easiest for them and what they thought was the hardest. As I sat there pondering their answers, I couldn't help but realize that I try really hard to be gentle and kind and I try to exhibit some semblance of self- control, but when it comes to joy and peace, I tend to run in the opposite direction. Maybe, if I start focusing on the beauty that does truly exist in this world (yes, even in North Platte), maybe I will find some peace in my life and learn to feel joy in a way that I have ignored for so long.
At first, I kind of laughed at her an thought to myself "A thousand things? In this world? Probably not." I kind of stuck with this mentality until last night at youth group.
For our fall schedule, we are walking the kids through the fruit of the Spirit. Sam and Greg and I talked with them last night about what fruit they thought was the easiest for them and what they thought was the hardest. As I sat there pondering their answers, I couldn't help but realize that I try really hard to be gentle and kind and I try to exhibit some semblance of self- control, but when it comes to joy and peace, I tend to run in the opposite direction. Maybe, if I start focusing on the beauty that does truly exist in this world (yes, even in North Platte), maybe I will find some peace in my life and learn to feel joy in a way that I have ignored for so long.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Five Sermons that Changed Everything
I don’t believe myself to be anyone out of the ordinary when I say that when I was little I didn’t listen to the sermons. I was either sent down to Children’s Church or too busy working on my children’s bulletin to be bothered by what the old guy in the pulpit was saying. Through my teen years, I spent a fair amount of time in the nursery helping out and when I was a church camp, I would spend my time doodling the name of the flavor of the week at camp that all of the girls had their eye on. Even when I got to college, it was hard to focus in on what the pastor was saying. I floated from church to church, not really feeling like I belonged and then when I finally did find a church that I liked, I decided I much rather liked spending my time keeping the DK girls entertained. When I wasn’t entertaining them, I normally spent the sermon fretting and stewing over the next choir concert or theatre production or my lack of any sort of a future mate or a issue that my friend was having.
My ears where completely shut off. When I worked at the BHP, the closest church was 20 minutes away and I had to be at the box office by 11am so it just didn’t work and when I was on tour, we normally traveled 5 to 6 hours on Sunday so we didn’t go to church very often, and when we did, I was too busy acting the part of the fun little director that had just led all of their children in a wonderful production. After a year of almost no church, I moved back home and going back to church felt like I was resurfacing after a deep dive underwater. I could breathe again. With aching lungs, I yearned to breathe in more and more of what was going on around me theologically and in ministry.
Since my return to North Platte, I have learned to listen to sermons. Given, my mind still wanders from time to time, but I do listen. And in the course of listening, my life has been changed. My faith box has been flipped upside down and I’ve spent the past two years of my life sorting and sifting through everything in there. I've picked up every piece and examined it. Determined if it was worth keeping or throwing away. Over the course of my self examination, I have read different books, talked to different people, and continued to listen. But this entry isn't a review on Love Wins and its not a test in freshmen Intro to Christianity. This entry is about the five specific sermons that I remember more than any of the rest, and will carry with me through the rest of my life.
1. Significance v. Success - Greg Mamula on Graduation Sunday 2010 - I’ve mentioned this sermon in a previous post but it definitely deserves mentioning again. His opening story (because almost every good pastor opens with a story of some sort) told about how, when he was younger and growing up on the upper east coast, he and his friends would enjoy taking a walk through the cemetery to look at all the old graves. He said it was interesting to calculate at how long people had lived in the 1800's and what people had chosen to have put on their headstones. Greg wanted to have something put on his about how he was the greatest baseball player ever. Greg then went on to talk about Simon Peter and the choice he had to make as a fisherman. Does he stay and continue to lead a life as a successful fisherman or does he choose to lead a life of significance by throwing down his nets and following Jesus?
This sermon impacted me because I was at a time in my life where I was very frustrated with this town and all the political ramifications it holds. Did I want to continue to live my life of success or was I ready to put it all aside and choose the less popular decision to live a life of significance? This sermon was my do or die moment when it came to my faith, and I haven't looked back since. A lot of my decisions have not been popular, and I'm sure a lot a my critics would laugh at some of the choices that I have made, but I'm trying to live significantly, and I really don't have time for the success of this world.
2. You are a Masterpiece - Greg Mamula on closing night of Mid-High I 2010 at Camp Moses Merrill - As we had less than 20 campers there that week and as they all professed to have given their hearts to Jesus, instead of the usual closing night sermon of “God loves you and wants to save you from the sin you are living in so lets all bow our heads together and pray and you can raise your hands if you want someone to pray with you” bit, Greg opted for something a little bit different. He gave them each a piece of paper and some crayons and told them to create. And while they created, he spoke. He chose to tell these 6th, 7th, and 8th grade boys and girls that they are wonderfully and beautifully made and the God of all creation is delighted in them. We watched a video at the end from the Skit Guys that depicted God “chiseling” away all of our imperfections. It hurts, and it can be hard to let go of pride and jealousy and selfishness, but if you give God the hammer and chisel, he’ll turn you into a beautiful masterpiece.
This sermon hit hard after a long week of spending time with campers, dealing with friends who were struggling in their marriage, and working through an internal debate about who I truly believed God to be and what his plans were for me. I’ve been overweight for most of my life and spent the better part of 22 years as a single girl. I had the same self esteem that I did in 4th grade when everyone had spice girl CDs and blue and purple shiny, puffy coats and I was listening to Kim Boyce on a tape cassette walkman. I had never been popular, well liked, or very attractive. Could God really find me beautiful even when the world didn’t always share his opinion?
3. Strange Waters - Tom Wiles sometime in early spring 2011 at First Baptist Church, North Platte - The most vivid thing I remember about this sermon was that Tom told a joke how some guy always knew how to find his favorite fishing spot because when he found where the fish were biting, he’d take a piece of chalk, lean out of the side of the boat, and draw a big “X” on the side so he would know where to come back to the next time he went fishing. Super entertaining joke, but the main point of the message talked about how we need to pray to go to strange waters. We spend so much time floating around in the same tiny circle, we forget that there is a lot more ocean out there. Instead of sitting around, being complacent, and not moving, we should be praying that God leads us into strange waters so that we can grow. So that we change and be stretched in our faith. So that we can reach outside of our tiny little bubble that we live in and help someone.
I have really been struggling through whether or not I’m supposed to go in to ministry full time or if I’m supposed to just continue being an active layperson in my church. I mean, seriously, there is need for every kind of person in the church and just because I'm not (or you're not) a senior pastor at a mega church does not mean that you do not have a place as a servant in God's kingdom. This sermon helped me realize that at this point in time it doesn’t really matter whether I’ve made up my mind about joining the ministry professionally or not, what matters is that I look for and strive towards strange waters. It matters that I go to Puerto Rico to learn more about my faith. It matters that I go to Joplin to work along side my husband and our family to try and alleviate some of the anguish and the struggle that some people are facing down there. It matters that I go to St. Louis to spend a week with some of the most beautiful children I have ever interacted with and show them the love of Christ. It matters that I go to youth group and develop relationships with “my girls” and attempt to play ultimate frisbee with the boys. It matters that I sing. It matters that I create. It matters that I try and smile at everyone that I meet in hopes that their day might be made a little bit brighter by simply catching a smile from a stranger.
Keep swimming, rowing, or whatever, towards those strange waters. You’ll never know what you will find there.
4. Survive, Thrive, Get Out Alive (Celebrate God’s Glory) - Dr. Carolyn Gordon during the Friday night worship session at the American Baptist International Biennial Convention in Puerto Rico, June 2011 - Dr. Gordon spoke to a massive crowd of American Baptists on the opening night of worship. She spoke of living in a spiritual desert. She spoke of how difficult it can be we you are feeling spiritually deprived. Beautifully, she told of the crocus and how it blossoms in the dessert in spite of not having any water and in spite of the severe lack of a possibility that it’s seeds will spread. I heard her talk about yearning for an oasis. How we need to learn to focus on the fact that even though we may walk through a really dry and difficult time in our faith journey, there is water and relief at the end. Its mundanely cliche to say, but rough difficult times often lead to times of wonderful blessing and fruition.
This was maybe the first time in my entire life where I felt like someone addressing a crowd was speaking directly to me. Almost a year before I left for Puerto Rico (and the night before Greg told me about the opportunity to audition) I had the most surreal dream that a very dear friend of mine and I were auditioning for something at our church and she wanted to sing "America" from West Side Story. The only problem was, she could only remember the opening line so we stood up on the stage and just sang "Puuuuueeerto Ricooooo" over and over and over again. Then, the night before my flight to Puerto Rico, I had another dream where that same friend and I were at a different church, and this time we were showing up to perform for the congregation. Since Greg and I auditioned, I had just had this feeling that something BIG was going to happen in Puerto Rico. I knew there was going to be some life changing moment when I was there. Some big hand coming out of the rain clouds and pointing in a certain direction while that God voice boomed from above saying "Do this. Go there. Serve here."...So I went to Puerto Rico. I went with a bursting heart and open ears and a mouth full of prayer in the hopes and the anticipation that something was going happen. And I got sunburned. Went to meetings. Bought souvenirs. Ate some amazing food. Spent some seriously meaningful time in conversation. And I worshiped with some 2,000 other Christians...but there was no big hand from the sky; no booming voice from the clouds. Not even a whisper in the deepest part of my soul.
Sitting in the audience that Friday night I was just lost. I had felt that I had been sitting on a sand dune in that stupid, proverbial desert for over a year with no end in sight. Even though I returned to North Platte with a smile on my face, telling everyone how wonderful it was (and believe me, it was a beyond amazing experience), I felt so defeated. But buried deep down in my defeat was a little seed of hope. Hope that Puerto Rico was the oasis that I needed and soon I would be past the desert and be free to blossom in the full glory of God's love. Currently, I am still feeling the heat, but I believe in my heart of hearts that it is getting cooler, and water is just on the horizon.
5. Your Reputation v. God’s Identity - Tom Wiles two weeks before our youth group left of St. Louis (July 2011) First Baptist Church, North Platte - In this sermon, Pastor Tom brought up lots of different people in lots of different situations, but his main point resounded in me just like Greg's sermon about significance vs. success. Tom talked about Joseph and how he chose to give up his reputation as a well known carpenter and a respectable part of Jewish society to take on God's identity for him as the husband of the woman that was carrying the Messiah. What would you have done?
This sermon came just as our youth group was making the final preparations to leave for our mission trip to St. Louis. And while the sermon hit home while I was sitting in the pew, it wasn't until later in the week that I really chewed on it. I was sitting upstairs at the Christian Activity Center in East St. Louis with my new BFF, nine-year-old Donjahnae, and she was braiding yarn into my hair. While she was weaving away she chatted about her home life and what she liked to do at school and how she had a fairly new baby brother. Another group was working there at the same time that we were and while they were not overly accommodating to our group, we tried to be friendly. So when they interrupted my salon session with Donjahnae and asked us all to come downstairs for a brief bible lesson, we obliged. The leader of the other group was a preacher who, if you ask me, didn't take his audience into account. That guy spent the better part of fifteen minutes telling those kids (most of whom come from households that live on a $6,000 a year income) to be grateful for what they have. You are telling these kids to be grateful? These kids. We snuck extra snacks into our lunch so that we could share them with these kids. We drove through their neighborhoods on our way to the center and saw the homes of these kids. We heard the stories of missing daddies and tired mommies from these kids. AND we caught some of the biggest smiles and received some of the warmest hugs from these kids. These kids have so little compared to all of the crap that we all have sitting around our home and yet the willingly open up their sweet little hearts every week to the random new volunteers that come in and say thank you when the drive away. These kids don't need a lesson in how to be grateful....Sorry. I digress. As I sat there in this crowded and stuffy room all I could do was tear up. Donjahnae turned around and looked me with her big, beautiful, brown eyes and whispered "Brittany. Why you cryin'?" And I looked down at her and the only thing I could tell her in response was, "Friend, I am crying because I love you so much and because the God that created you and I loves you even more than either one of us could imagine." She smiled back with a look of shock and awe that only a child can show, then she wiped a tear from her eye and snuggled closer to me.
I thought about my reputation and God's identity for me again and again that week. I thought about it every time I climbed the four flights of stairs to the small room that I shared with two of the most beautiful girls on the planet. I thought about it when I Zumbaed with 20 campers from 6 different states. And I thought about it as I, the ever unpopular one, made friends with people that weren't even from our mission group or church. And I thought about it every night as Sam, Greg and I sat down with our youth group to debrief the day's events and pray together for each other, our mission sites, and those we had left at home.
My reputation or God's identity for me? If my reputation was what I left behind in North Platte and God's identity for me was this new life that I had discovered with Donjahnae, and the wonderful girls that I bonded with, and the boys from our youth group that I laughed with, and with my sweet boys from Louisiana (Oh Grayson, Kennay, Landon, and Brady!), is there really a choice in that?
I have been home for almost two weeks now, and in that time I have started a new job, worked on half a dozen craft projects, and my husband has ripped out all of the tile and some of the plaster in our upstairs bathroom and is replacing a window as we speak. A lot has happened and my mind has felt a little muddled. When that happens, I tend to lapse into "facebook thought." This normally happens during periods of high stress or after spending copious amounts of time on this forsaken social networking site. I sure you can laugh with me when I say that I sometimes sink into thinking thoughts that are only as long as a status update. So, if you have read all of this ridiculously long blog (or just skimmed through to the end just to see if I ever actually made a point) and still have no idea what I am talking about, then here it what it boils down to:
My job is just my job. But my purpose in life is to SERVE the Alpha and Omega, to LOVE everyone that I come into contact with, and to CREATE with passion because God has blessed me with so many beautiful things around me and with the ambition to share His works with others through any media possible.
--
-Brittany
My ears where completely shut off. When I worked at the BHP, the closest church was 20 minutes away and I had to be at the box office by 11am so it just didn’t work and when I was on tour, we normally traveled 5 to 6 hours on Sunday so we didn’t go to church very often, and when we did, I was too busy acting the part of the fun little director that had just led all of their children in a wonderful production. After a year of almost no church, I moved back home and going back to church felt like I was resurfacing after a deep dive underwater. I could breathe again. With aching lungs, I yearned to breathe in more and more of what was going on around me theologically and in ministry.
Since my return to North Platte, I have learned to listen to sermons. Given, my mind still wanders from time to time, but I do listen. And in the course of listening, my life has been changed. My faith box has been flipped upside down and I’ve spent the past two years of my life sorting and sifting through everything in there. I've picked up every piece and examined it. Determined if it was worth keeping or throwing away. Over the course of my self examination, I have read different books, talked to different people, and continued to listen. But this entry isn't a review on Love Wins and its not a test in freshmen Intro to Christianity. This entry is about the five specific sermons that I remember more than any of the rest, and will carry with me through the rest of my life.
1. Significance v. Success - Greg Mamula on Graduation Sunday 2010 - I’ve mentioned this sermon in a previous post but it definitely deserves mentioning again. His opening story (because almost every good pastor opens with a story of some sort) told about how, when he was younger and growing up on the upper east coast, he and his friends would enjoy taking a walk through the cemetery to look at all the old graves. He said it was interesting to calculate at how long people had lived in the 1800's and what people had chosen to have put on their headstones. Greg wanted to have something put on his about how he was the greatest baseball player ever. Greg then went on to talk about Simon Peter and the choice he had to make as a fisherman. Does he stay and continue to lead a life as a successful fisherman or does he choose to lead a life of significance by throwing down his nets and following Jesus?
This sermon impacted me because I was at a time in my life where I was very frustrated with this town and all the political ramifications it holds. Did I want to continue to live my life of success or was I ready to put it all aside and choose the less popular decision to live a life of significance? This sermon was my do or die moment when it came to my faith, and I haven't looked back since. A lot of my decisions have not been popular, and I'm sure a lot a my critics would laugh at some of the choices that I have made, but I'm trying to live significantly, and I really don't have time for the success of this world.
2. You are a Masterpiece - Greg Mamula on closing night of Mid-High I 2010 at Camp Moses Merrill - As we had less than 20 campers there that week and as they all professed to have given their hearts to Jesus, instead of the usual closing night sermon of “God loves you and wants to save you from the sin you are living in so lets all bow our heads together and pray and you can raise your hands if you want someone to pray with you” bit, Greg opted for something a little bit different. He gave them each a piece of paper and some crayons and told them to create. And while they created, he spoke. He chose to tell these 6th, 7th, and 8th grade boys and girls that they are wonderfully and beautifully made and the God of all creation is delighted in them. We watched a video at the end from the Skit Guys that depicted God “chiseling” away all of our imperfections. It hurts, and it can be hard to let go of pride and jealousy and selfishness, but if you give God the hammer and chisel, he’ll turn you into a beautiful masterpiece.
This sermon hit hard after a long week of spending time with campers, dealing with friends who were struggling in their marriage, and working through an internal debate about who I truly believed God to be and what his plans were for me. I’ve been overweight for most of my life and spent the better part of 22 years as a single girl. I had the same self esteem that I did in 4th grade when everyone had spice girl CDs and blue and purple shiny, puffy coats and I was listening to Kim Boyce on a tape cassette walkman. I had never been popular, well liked, or very attractive. Could God really find me beautiful even when the world didn’t always share his opinion?
3. Strange Waters - Tom Wiles sometime in early spring 2011 at First Baptist Church, North Platte - The most vivid thing I remember about this sermon was that Tom told a joke how some guy always knew how to find his favorite fishing spot because when he found where the fish were biting, he’d take a piece of chalk, lean out of the side of the boat, and draw a big “X” on the side so he would know where to come back to the next time he went fishing. Super entertaining joke, but the main point of the message talked about how we need to pray to go to strange waters. We spend so much time floating around in the same tiny circle, we forget that there is a lot more ocean out there. Instead of sitting around, being complacent, and not moving, we should be praying that God leads us into strange waters so that we can grow. So that we change and be stretched in our faith. So that we can reach outside of our tiny little bubble that we live in and help someone.
I have really been struggling through whether or not I’m supposed to go in to ministry full time or if I’m supposed to just continue being an active layperson in my church. I mean, seriously, there is need for every kind of person in the church and just because I'm not (or you're not) a senior pastor at a mega church does not mean that you do not have a place as a servant in God's kingdom. This sermon helped me realize that at this point in time it doesn’t really matter whether I’ve made up my mind about joining the ministry professionally or not, what matters is that I look for and strive towards strange waters. It matters that I go to Puerto Rico to learn more about my faith. It matters that I go to Joplin to work along side my husband and our family to try and alleviate some of the anguish and the struggle that some people are facing down there. It matters that I go to St. Louis to spend a week with some of the most beautiful children I have ever interacted with and show them the love of Christ. It matters that I go to youth group and develop relationships with “my girls” and attempt to play ultimate frisbee with the boys. It matters that I sing. It matters that I create. It matters that I try and smile at everyone that I meet in hopes that their day might be made a little bit brighter by simply catching a smile from a stranger.
Keep swimming, rowing, or whatever, towards those strange waters. You’ll never know what you will find there.
4. Survive, Thrive, Get Out Alive (Celebrate God’s Glory) - Dr. Carolyn Gordon during the Friday night worship session at the American Baptist International Biennial Convention in Puerto Rico, June 2011 - Dr. Gordon spoke to a massive crowd of American Baptists on the opening night of worship. She spoke of living in a spiritual desert. She spoke of how difficult it can be we you are feeling spiritually deprived. Beautifully, she told of the crocus and how it blossoms in the dessert in spite of not having any water and in spite of the severe lack of a possibility that it’s seeds will spread. I heard her talk about yearning for an oasis. How we need to learn to focus on the fact that even though we may walk through a really dry and difficult time in our faith journey, there is water and relief at the end. Its mundanely cliche to say, but rough difficult times often lead to times of wonderful blessing and fruition.
This was maybe the first time in my entire life where I felt like someone addressing a crowd was speaking directly to me. Almost a year before I left for Puerto Rico (and the night before Greg told me about the opportunity to audition) I had the most surreal dream that a very dear friend of mine and I were auditioning for something at our church and she wanted to sing "America" from West Side Story. The only problem was, she could only remember the opening line so we stood up on the stage and just sang "Puuuuueeerto Ricooooo" over and over and over again. Then, the night before my flight to Puerto Rico, I had another dream where that same friend and I were at a different church, and this time we were showing up to perform for the congregation. Since Greg and I auditioned, I had just had this feeling that something BIG was going to happen in Puerto Rico. I knew there was going to be some life changing moment when I was there. Some big hand coming out of the rain clouds and pointing in a certain direction while that God voice boomed from above saying "Do this. Go there. Serve here."...So I went to Puerto Rico. I went with a bursting heart and open ears and a mouth full of prayer in the hopes and the anticipation that something was going happen. And I got sunburned. Went to meetings. Bought souvenirs. Ate some amazing food. Spent some seriously meaningful time in conversation. And I worshiped with some 2,000 other Christians...but there was no big hand from the sky; no booming voice from the clouds. Not even a whisper in the deepest part of my soul.
Sitting in the audience that Friday night I was just lost. I had felt that I had been sitting on a sand dune in that stupid, proverbial desert for over a year with no end in sight. Even though I returned to North Platte with a smile on my face, telling everyone how wonderful it was (and believe me, it was a beyond amazing experience), I felt so defeated. But buried deep down in my defeat was a little seed of hope. Hope that Puerto Rico was the oasis that I needed and soon I would be past the desert and be free to blossom in the full glory of God's love. Currently, I am still feeling the heat, but I believe in my heart of hearts that it is getting cooler, and water is just on the horizon.
5. Your Reputation v. God’s Identity - Tom Wiles two weeks before our youth group left of St. Louis (July 2011) First Baptist Church, North Platte - In this sermon, Pastor Tom brought up lots of different people in lots of different situations, but his main point resounded in me just like Greg's sermon about significance vs. success. Tom talked about Joseph and how he chose to give up his reputation as a well known carpenter and a respectable part of Jewish society to take on God's identity for him as the husband of the woman that was carrying the Messiah. What would you have done?
This sermon came just as our youth group was making the final preparations to leave for our mission trip to St. Louis. And while the sermon hit home while I was sitting in the pew, it wasn't until later in the week that I really chewed on it. I was sitting upstairs at the Christian Activity Center in East St. Louis with my new BFF, nine-year-old Donjahnae, and she was braiding yarn into my hair. While she was weaving away she chatted about her home life and what she liked to do at school and how she had a fairly new baby brother. Another group was working there at the same time that we were and while they were not overly accommodating to our group, we tried to be friendly. So when they interrupted my salon session with Donjahnae and asked us all to come downstairs for a brief bible lesson, we obliged. The leader of the other group was a preacher who, if you ask me, didn't take his audience into account. That guy spent the better part of fifteen minutes telling those kids (most of whom come from households that live on a $6,000 a year income) to be grateful for what they have. You are telling these kids to be grateful? These kids. We snuck extra snacks into our lunch so that we could share them with these kids. We drove through their neighborhoods on our way to the center and saw the homes of these kids. We heard the stories of missing daddies and tired mommies from these kids. AND we caught some of the biggest smiles and received some of the warmest hugs from these kids. These kids have so little compared to all of the crap that we all have sitting around our home and yet the willingly open up their sweet little hearts every week to the random new volunteers that come in and say thank you when the drive away. These kids don't need a lesson in how to be grateful....Sorry. I digress. As I sat there in this crowded and stuffy room all I could do was tear up. Donjahnae turned around and looked me with her big, beautiful, brown eyes and whispered "Brittany. Why you cryin'?" And I looked down at her and the only thing I could tell her in response was, "Friend, I am crying because I love you so much and because the God that created you and I loves you even more than either one of us could imagine." She smiled back with a look of shock and awe that only a child can show, then she wiped a tear from her eye and snuggled closer to me.
I thought about my reputation and God's identity for me again and again that week. I thought about it every time I climbed the four flights of stairs to the small room that I shared with two of the most beautiful girls on the planet. I thought about it when I Zumbaed with 20 campers from 6 different states. And I thought about it as I, the ever unpopular one, made friends with people that weren't even from our mission group or church. And I thought about it every night as Sam, Greg and I sat down with our youth group to debrief the day's events and pray together for each other, our mission sites, and those we had left at home.
My reputation or God's identity for me? If my reputation was what I left behind in North Platte and God's identity for me was this new life that I had discovered with Donjahnae, and the wonderful girls that I bonded with, and the boys from our youth group that I laughed with, and with my sweet boys from Louisiana (Oh Grayson, Kennay, Landon, and Brady!), is there really a choice in that?
I have been home for almost two weeks now, and in that time I have started a new job, worked on half a dozen craft projects, and my husband has ripped out all of the tile and some of the plaster in our upstairs bathroom and is replacing a window as we speak. A lot has happened and my mind has felt a little muddled. When that happens, I tend to lapse into "facebook thought." This normally happens during periods of high stress or after spending copious amounts of time on this forsaken social networking site. I sure you can laugh with me when I say that I sometimes sink into thinking thoughts that are only as long as a status update. So, if you have read all of this ridiculously long blog (or just skimmed through to the end just to see if I ever actually made a point) and still have no idea what I am talking about, then here it what it boils down to:
My job is just my job. But my purpose in life is to SERVE the Alpha and Omega, to LOVE everyone that I come into contact with, and to CREATE with passion because God has blessed me with so many beautiful things around me and with the ambition to share His works with others through any media possible.
--
-Brittany
Monday, August 1, 2011
Half way done and a little behind
1. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott- Jan. 1 - Jan. 7 - I can now say that I have read the silly thing from start to finish. I loved parts of it but other parts droned on.
2. The Centurion's Wife by Janette Oke - Jan. 7 - Jan. 12 - A really neat book, especially if you like Christian fiction or anything else that Oke has written. I downloaded it onto my Kindle because it was on a free-promo thing, and fell in love with it. Definitely an amazing message about the light that God brings into our lives.
3. Whirl of the Wheel by Catherine Condie - Jan. 12 - Jan. 15 - An odd little book about time travel. Super fluffy and I think geared toward younger readers. I don't like super detail heavy books, but this one was so lacking in it that it was hard to connect to any of the characters. I liked the basic story line, but would have liked a some information about what was going on historically and why she was in a wheelchair.
4. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett - Jan. 15 - Jan. 24 - I had seen 3 different movie versions of this book and enjoyed it quite a bit. Burnett's descriptions of the garden and the changes that take place in it are so vibrant and alive that I couldn't help but want to go and visit. Definitely a great classic.
5. Labor of Love: A Midwife's Memoir by Cara Muhlhahn - Jan. 27 - Jan. 29 - Just a precursor: No, I'm not pregnant. It was free on Amazon and it just seemed like it would be an interesting read, and boy was it! Muhlhahn manages to leave me with a sense of empowerment as a women and provided with me with confidence that I'm sure will come in handy when Sam and I do make the decision to start our family. I'm not typically a "hippie, holistic, mother nature" kind of person, but this book did an amazing job of presenting other options of labor and delivery besides being bed ridden, on your back, full of needles in a sterile (and often frightening) hospital room with everyone and their dog looking at your whoo-hah. She was not overly feministic, and spent a good deal of time discussing how hospitals are really good things in high risk pregnancies and when things go wrong, but normally, when left to her own devices, a woman can deliver her baby minus drugs and people sticking their hands all up inside them. I don't know if homebirth is something I would try, especially living in the midwest where midwives aren't in every neighborhood, but it is a great read for any woman who has thought about questioning why things are the way they are. I would definitely recommend it to any woman!
6. Love on a Dime by Cara Lynn James - Jan. 29 - Feb. 1 - Meh. It was half period romance novel, half Christian fiction. I enjoyed the setting and the detail that James put into describing our characters and how the vantage point shifted from chapter to chapter (it really allowed the reader to connect with multiple characters). A good quick read.
7. Reasons to be Pretty by Neil LaBute - Feb. 2 - Feb. 3 - Oh Mr. LaBute, this may be my favorite play that he has written. It ends with a little glimmer of hope and it made me happy.
8. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - Feb. 7 - Feb. 9 - This would have had an end date of Feb. 8, but I technically read past midnight last night so I actually finished it today. I find it really funny how I try really hard to not watch the "bestseller" lists because I feel like its "letting the man win" or something, but when I do give in and read whats popular at the moment, it almost always a good read, even if it has some gapping holes and some strange (not to mention fairly gross) plotlines(Twilight) or even if it's not the most memorable book I've ever read. I sat in our cold little bathroom well into the wee hours of the morning trying to finish The Hunger Games. This Lord of the Flys meets The Hatchet epic kept me on the edge of my seat. I don't want to give much away, because I would recommend this book to anyone, but I would also like to emphasize that I would not let an elementary school student read it. Not only are there some very graphic, morbid parts, but the overall tone of the book is very disturbing and I think might really frighten a younger audience. Definitely worth picking up!
9. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins Feb. 9 - Feb. 10 - The 2nd book in The Hunger Games trilogy, and just as rivoting as the first. I don't believe I can get my hands on book #3 fast enough!
10. Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins - Feb. 12 - Feb. 13 - The third installment of The Hunger Games trilogy. Really guys, read these books!
11. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - Feb. 27 - March 2 - I didn't really know what I was getting into when I started this story, but as usual, it was on the "free promotional" list on Amazon.com so I got it. This beautiful story about a 93 year old man in a nursing home is poignant and insightful. During his flashbacks to his life in circus, Gruen exposes us to the nitty-gritty behind the scenes work that us "rubes" never get to see. This strange lifestyle is something that we've all been curious about and we've all threatened to run of and do from time to time. While in the present, Gruen carefully takes us through the struggles of the indignity that is the aging and nursing home process in America. I would rate it PG-13 for some graphic violence and some sexual content, but all in all a lovely book.
12. After the Leaves Fall by Nicole Baart - March 3 - March 7 - There have been some really difficult things happening in my life at the moment, and this book was exactly what I needed. It may be one of the few free books that I have read on Amazon that I actually want to spend the money to get the rest of the books in the series, Summer Snow and Beneath the Night Tree. (In fact, I just took a break from writing this entry to do so.) This coming of age story about Julia, a character with whom every small town girl can relate to, follows a heartbreaking and frustrating path from a fallen, broken little girl to a fallen, broken woman in search of the grace that only come from the Father above. I didn't even know that this was a Christian fiction book until I got a fair amount into it, and I thought the spiritual aspect of the book was beautifully presented without being overly pushy. In Baart's first novel, I commend her for her beautiful analogies and comforting text. Many of the scenes left me heartbroken and in tears but the book ends with an amazing sense of hope. I can't wait to read the next book!
13. Summer Snow by Nicole Baart - March 7 - March 13 - The 2nd book of this trilogy was just as warm and touching as the first. As we continue to get to know Julia, and her crazy family, Baart does an exceptional job of capturing small town life and the difficulties with gossip, work, and an ever evolving family.
14. Beneath the Night Tree by Nicole Baart - March 13 - March 18 - The perfect end to this trilogy. Painful in places because I knew what was coming and my heart broke for Julia's situation, but it ended just like I had hoped. Well done, Ms. Baart. Thank you for sharing this family with us!
15. Wings by Aprilynne Pike - April 13 - April 15 - Another freebie on the Amazon list, and of course, I had to go get the sequel this morning from the Library. If you enjoyed the mythical nature and teenage angst of Twilight, this book is for you. A bit far fetched at times, but a quick an entertaining summer read if nothing else.
16. Spells by Aprilynne Pike - April 17 - April 18 - The sequel to Wings. I found this book just as entertaining as the first one and now I am completely sucked into the central love story. The third book is set to release the first week of May, so until then this Faerie story will be on pause. Can't wait!
17. Walking on Broken Glass by Christa Allan - April 20 - May 6 - READ THIS BOOK! That is all. A beautiful story about redemption and learning to be who you were created to be.
18. Illusions by Aprilynne Pike - May 10-13 - Darn you Aprilynne! I thought this would be the final book in the series and now I must wait a whole year before the real final book comes out. Great book in the series and I will hang on this cliff for awhile!
19. Alice at Heart by Deborah Smith - May 22-23 - I don't know how I got another fantasy book in here but I enjoyed it. This tale about mermaids and "landers" gives a great example of how far we go to fit into "normal".
20. Elisha's Bones by Don Hoesel - Sometime around Memorial Day - If you liked Angels and Demons or The DaVinci Code, I'm pretty sure you would enjoy this book. A book about intrigue, puzzles, conspiracy, and of course, a long lost biblical artifact. Elisha's Bones gets a little gory in some parts and a little long in others, but a decent enjoyable read.
21. A Tailor-Made Bride by Karen Witemeyer - First part of June - Ok, cute book and lovely story line and all, but it was super frustrating! Let me precursor with this: I love historical romance, Christian romance, and even a little smut now and again. This book tried to combine all three and honestly it made me feel like I was some sort of pervert. The author would talk about how the leading lady was noticing how the leading man's shirt stretched across his sinewy shoulders and firm chest and how is pants shaped his rear end and then the leading lady would chastise herself for looking at him in such a way, which in turn left me, as the reader, feeling like I was being a perv for thinking of him that way when she was the one putting the stupid thoughts in my head!
22. The Strange Case of Finley Jayne by Kady Cross - June 8-10 - This book is the prequel to The Girl in the Steel Corset and I am finding the whole Steampunk genre very oddly interesting. If you're out of the loop and unaware of what Steampunk is, the oh-so reliable Wikipedia defined Steampunk as "a sub-genre of science fiction, alternate history, and speculative fiction...an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century and often Victorian era Britain—that incorporates prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy. Works of steampunk often feature anachronistic technology or futuristic innovations as Victorians may have envisioned them; in other words, based on a Victorian perspective on fashion, culture, architectural style, art, etc. This technology may include such fictional machines as those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne or real technologies like the computer but developed earlier in an alternate history." I totally loved the dark undertones of the book and how they mixed with the Victorian setting. I am definitely looking forward to reading more of this style!"
23. Surrender the Heart by MaryLu Tyndall - July 30-31 - A great historical Christian romance book set on a ship at the beginning of the War of 1812. I started reading in on our trip home from St. Louis and it kept me entertained the whole way.
24. The Golden Acorn by Catherine Cooper - Some time in June - This book turned out to be for a slightly younger audience than I was anticipating so I was bored with it.
25. Summer's Crossing by Julie Kagawa - Sometime in July - A novella introducing characters of a Fairy book series. The current trend of Amazon seems to be to write a pre-series book that introduces everyone to you and put that on the free list.
26. Journey to the Well by Dianna Wallis Taylor - July 25-28 - This was maybe my favorite book thus far. Set in Samaria during the time time of Jesus, this fictional tale creates the life of the woman from the well before she meets Jesus. A tale of heart break and bitterness that is turned into a sincere love story about Marah and the God Who See Her. Loved it!
Eeep! Its the end of July and I'm only half way done! Better pick up the pace I guess!
2. The Centurion's Wife by Janette Oke - Jan. 7 - Jan. 12 - A really neat book, especially if you like Christian fiction or anything else that Oke has written. I downloaded it onto my Kindle because it was on a free-promo thing, and fell in love with it. Definitely an amazing message about the light that God brings into our lives.
3. Whirl of the Wheel by Catherine Condie - Jan. 12 - Jan. 15 - An odd little book about time travel. Super fluffy and I think geared toward younger readers. I don't like super detail heavy books, but this one was so lacking in it that it was hard to connect to any of the characters. I liked the basic story line, but would have liked a some information about what was going on historically and why she was in a wheelchair.
4. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett - Jan. 15 - Jan. 24 - I had seen 3 different movie versions of this book and enjoyed it quite a bit. Burnett's descriptions of the garden and the changes that take place in it are so vibrant and alive that I couldn't help but want to go and visit. Definitely a great classic.
5. Labor of Love: A Midwife's Memoir by Cara Muhlhahn - Jan. 27 - Jan. 29 - Just a precursor: No, I'm not pregnant. It was free on Amazon and it just seemed like it would be an interesting read, and boy was it! Muhlhahn manages to leave me with a sense of empowerment as a women and provided with me with confidence that I'm sure will come in handy when Sam and I do make the decision to start our family. I'm not typically a "hippie, holistic, mother nature" kind of person, but this book did an amazing job of presenting other options of labor and delivery besides being bed ridden, on your back, full of needles in a sterile (and often frightening) hospital room with everyone and their dog looking at your whoo-hah. She was not overly feministic, and spent a good deal of time discussing how hospitals are really good things in high risk pregnancies and when things go wrong, but normally, when left to her own devices, a woman can deliver her baby minus drugs and people sticking their hands all up inside them. I don't know if homebirth is something I would try, especially living in the midwest where midwives aren't in every neighborhood, but it is a great read for any woman who has thought about questioning why things are the way they are. I would definitely recommend it to any woman!
6. Love on a Dime by Cara Lynn James - Jan. 29 - Feb. 1 - Meh. It was half period romance novel, half Christian fiction. I enjoyed the setting and the detail that James put into describing our characters and how the vantage point shifted from chapter to chapter (it really allowed the reader to connect with multiple characters). A good quick read.
7. Reasons to be Pretty by Neil LaBute - Feb. 2 - Feb. 3 - Oh Mr. LaBute, this may be my favorite play that he has written. It ends with a little glimmer of hope and it made me happy.
8. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins - Feb. 7 - Feb. 9 - This would have had an end date of Feb. 8, but I technically read past midnight last night so I actually finished it today. I find it really funny how I try really hard to not watch the "bestseller" lists because I feel like its "letting the man win" or something, but when I do give in and read whats popular at the moment, it almost always a good read, even if it has some gapping holes and some strange (not to mention fairly gross) plotlines(Twilight) or even if it's not the most memorable book I've ever read. I sat in our cold little bathroom well into the wee hours of the morning trying to finish The Hunger Games. This Lord of the Flys meets The Hatchet epic kept me on the edge of my seat. I don't want to give much away, because I would recommend this book to anyone, but I would also like to emphasize that I would not let an elementary school student read it. Not only are there some very graphic, morbid parts, but the overall tone of the book is very disturbing and I think might really frighten a younger audience. Definitely worth picking up!
9. Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins Feb. 9 - Feb. 10 - The 2nd book in The Hunger Games trilogy, and just as rivoting as the first. I don't believe I can get my hands on book #3 fast enough!
10. Mocking Jay by Suzanne Collins - Feb. 12 - Feb. 13 - The third installment of The Hunger Games trilogy. Really guys, read these books!
11. Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen - Feb. 27 - March 2 - I didn't really know what I was getting into when I started this story, but as usual, it was on the "free promotional" list on Amazon.com so I got it. This beautiful story about a 93 year old man in a nursing home is poignant and insightful. During his flashbacks to his life in circus, Gruen exposes us to the nitty-gritty behind the scenes work that us "rubes" never get to see. This strange lifestyle is something that we've all been curious about and we've all threatened to run of and do from time to time. While in the present, Gruen carefully takes us through the struggles of the indignity that is the aging and nursing home process in America. I would rate it PG-13 for some graphic violence and some sexual content, but all in all a lovely book.
12. After the Leaves Fall by Nicole Baart - March 3 - March 7 - There have been some really difficult things happening in my life at the moment, and this book was exactly what I needed. It may be one of the few free books that I have read on Amazon that I actually want to spend the money to get the rest of the books in the series, Summer Snow and Beneath the Night Tree. (In fact, I just took a break from writing this entry to do so.) This coming of age story about Julia, a character with whom every small town girl can relate to, follows a heartbreaking and frustrating path from a fallen, broken little girl to a fallen, broken woman in search of the grace that only come from the Father above. I didn't even know that this was a Christian fiction book until I got a fair amount into it, and I thought the spiritual aspect of the book was beautifully presented without being overly pushy. In Baart's first novel, I commend her for her beautiful analogies and comforting text. Many of the scenes left me heartbroken and in tears but the book ends with an amazing sense of hope. I can't wait to read the next book!
13. Summer Snow by Nicole Baart - March 7 - March 13 - The 2nd book of this trilogy was just as warm and touching as the first. As we continue to get to know Julia, and her crazy family, Baart does an exceptional job of capturing small town life and the difficulties with gossip, work, and an ever evolving family.
14. Beneath the Night Tree by Nicole Baart - March 13 - March 18 - The perfect end to this trilogy. Painful in places because I knew what was coming and my heart broke for Julia's situation, but it ended just like I had hoped. Well done, Ms. Baart. Thank you for sharing this family with us!
15. Wings by Aprilynne Pike - April 13 - April 15 - Another freebie on the Amazon list, and of course, I had to go get the sequel this morning from the Library. If you enjoyed the mythical nature and teenage angst of Twilight, this book is for you. A bit far fetched at times, but a quick an entertaining summer read if nothing else.
16. Spells by Aprilynne Pike - April 17 - April 18 - The sequel to Wings. I found this book just as entertaining as the first one and now I am completely sucked into the central love story. The third book is set to release the first week of May, so until then this Faerie story will be on pause. Can't wait!
17. Walking on Broken Glass by Christa Allan - April 20 - May 6 - READ THIS BOOK! That is all. A beautiful story about redemption and learning to be who you were created to be.
18. Illusions by Aprilynne Pike - May 10-13 - Darn you Aprilynne! I thought this would be the final book in the series and now I must wait a whole year before the real final book comes out. Great book in the series and I will hang on this cliff for awhile!
19. Alice at Heart by Deborah Smith - May 22-23 - I don't know how I got another fantasy book in here but I enjoyed it. This tale about mermaids and "landers" gives a great example of how far we go to fit into "normal".
20. Elisha's Bones by Don Hoesel - Sometime around Memorial Day - If you liked Angels and Demons or The DaVinci Code, I'm pretty sure you would enjoy this book. A book about intrigue, puzzles, conspiracy, and of course, a long lost biblical artifact. Elisha's Bones gets a little gory in some parts and a little long in others, but a decent enjoyable read.
21. A Tailor-Made Bride by Karen Witemeyer - First part of June - Ok, cute book and lovely story line and all, but it was super frustrating! Let me precursor with this: I love historical romance, Christian romance, and even a little smut now and again. This book tried to combine all three and honestly it made me feel like I was some sort of pervert. The author would talk about how the leading lady was noticing how the leading man's shirt stretched across his sinewy shoulders and firm chest and how is pants shaped his rear end and then the leading lady would chastise herself for looking at him in such a way, which in turn left me, as the reader, feeling like I was being a perv for thinking of him that way when she was the one putting the stupid thoughts in my head!
22. The Strange Case of Finley Jayne by Kady Cross - June 8-10 - This book is the prequel to The Girl in the Steel Corset and I am finding the whole Steampunk genre very oddly interesting. If you're out of the loop and unaware of what Steampunk is, the oh-so reliable Wikipedia defined Steampunk as "a sub-genre of science fiction, alternate history, and speculative fiction...an era or world where steam power is still widely used—usually the 19th century and often Victorian era Britain—that incorporates prominent elements of either science fiction or fantasy. Works of steampunk often feature anachronistic technology or futuristic innovations as Victorians may have envisioned them; in other words, based on a Victorian perspective on fashion, culture, architectural style, art, etc. This technology may include such fictional machines as those found in the works of H. G. Wells and Jules Verne or real technologies like the computer but developed earlier in an alternate history." I totally loved the dark undertones of the book and how they mixed with the Victorian setting. I am definitely looking forward to reading more of this style!"
23. Surrender the Heart by MaryLu Tyndall - July 30-31 - A great historical Christian romance book set on a ship at the beginning of the War of 1812. I started reading in on our trip home from St. Louis and it kept me entertained the whole way.
24. The Golden Acorn by Catherine Cooper - Some time in June - This book turned out to be for a slightly younger audience than I was anticipating so I was bored with it.
25. Summer's Crossing by Julie Kagawa - Sometime in July - A novella introducing characters of a Fairy book series. The current trend of Amazon seems to be to write a pre-series book that introduces everyone to you and put that on the free list.
26. Journey to the Well by Dianna Wallis Taylor - July 25-28 - This was maybe my favorite book thus far. Set in Samaria during the time time of Jesus, this fictional tale creates the life of the woman from the well before she meets Jesus. A tale of heart break and bitterness that is turned into a sincere love story about Marah and the God Who See Her. Loved it!
Eeep! Its the end of July and I'm only half way done! Better pick up the pace I guess!
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